INTRODUCTION

Our goal with this book is to restore Stoicism to its rightful place as a tool in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and wisdom: something one uses to live a great life, rather than some esoteric field of academic inquiry. (Location 81)

George Washington, Walt Whitman, Frederick the Great, Eugène Delacroix, Adam Smith, Immanuel Kant, Thomas Jefferson, Matthew Arnold, Ambrose Bierce, Theodore Roosevelt, William Alexander Percy, Ralph Waldo Emerson. Each read, studied, quoted, or admired the Stoics. (Location 84)

Tim Ferriss, ... referred to Stoicism as the ideal “personal operating system” (Location 102)

FROM GREECE TO ROME TO TODAY

Stoicism was a school of philosophy founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium in the early third century BC. Its name is derived from the Greek stoa, meaning porch, because that’s where Zeno first taught his students. (Location 110)

The philosophy asserts that virtue (meaning, chiefly, the four cardinal virtues of self-control, courage, justice, and wisdom) is happiness, and it is our perceptions of things—rather than the things themselves—that cause most of our trouble. Stoicism teaches that we can’t control or rely on anything outside what Epictetus called our “reasoned choice”—our ability to use our reason to choose how we categorize, respond, and reorient ourselves to external events. (Location 112)

By controlling our perceptions, the Stoics tell us, we can find mental clarity. In directing our actions properly and justly, we’ll be effective. In utilizing and aligning our will, we will find the wisdom and perspective to deal with anything the world puts before us. It was their belief that by strengthening themselves and their fellow citizens in these disciplines, they could cultivate resilience, purpose, and even joy. (Location 132)

A PHILOSOPHICAL BOOK FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL LIFE

JANUARY   CLARITY

January 1st CONTROL AND CHOICE

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.5.4–5 (Location 175)

The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t. What we have influence over and what we do not. (Location 181)

time spent hurling yourself at these immovable objects is time not spent on the things we can change. (Location 184)

The recovery community practices something called the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” (Location 185)

January 2nd EDUCATION IS FREEDOM

“What is the fruit of these teachings? Only the most beautiful and proper harvest of the truly educated—tranquility, fearlessness, and freedom. We should not trust the masses who say only the free can be educated, but rather the lovers of wisdom who say that only the educated are free.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.1.21–23a (Location 192)

Education—reading and meditating on the wisdom of great minds—is not to be done for its own sake. It has a purpose. ... Knowledge—self-knowledge in particular—is freedom. (Location 200)

January 3rd BE RUTHLESS TO THE THINGS THAT DON’T MATTER

“How many have laid waste to your life when you weren’t aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolish joy, greedy desire, and social amusements—how little of your own was left to you. You will realize you are dying before your time!” —SENECA, ON THE BREVITY OF LIFE, 3.3b (Location 205)

One of the hardest things to do in life is to say “No.” To invitations, to requests, to obligations, to the stuff that everyone else is doing. Even harder is saying no to certain time-consuming emotions: anger, excitement, distraction, obsession, lust. None of these impulses feels like a big deal by itself, but run amok, they become a commitment like anything else. (Location 211)

It may turn people off. It may take some hard work.But the more you say no to the things that don’t matter, the more you can say yes to the things that do. This will let you live and enjoy your life—the life that you want. (Location 216)

January 4th THE BIG THREE

“All you need are these: certainty of judgment in the present moment; action for the common good in the present moment; and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 9.6 (Location 220)

Perception, Action, Will. Those are the three overlapping but critical disciplines of Stoicism (Location 225)

Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what’s outside your control. That’s all we need to do. (Location 231)

January 5th CLARIFY YOUR INTENTIONS

Tags: lp

Note: .lp

“Let all your efforts be directed to something, let it keep that end in view. It’s not activity that disturbs people, but false conceptions of things that drive them mad.” —SENECA, ON TRANQUILITY OF MIND, 12.5 (Location 235)

Having an end in mind is no guarantee that you’ll reach it—no Stoic would tolerate that assumption—but not having an end in mind is a guarantee you won’t. (Location 243)

When your efforts are not directed at a cause or a purpose, how will you know what to do day in and day out? How will you know what to say no to and what to say yes to? How will you know when you’ve had enough, when you’ve reached your goal, when you’ve gotten off track, if you’ve never defined what those things are? The answer is that you cannot. And so you are driven into failure—or worse, into madness by the oblivion of directionlessness. (Location 245)

January 6th WHERE, WHO, WHAT, AND WHY

“A person who doesn’t know what the universe is, doesn’t know where they are. A person who doesn’t know their purpose in life doesn’t know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn’t know any one of these things doesn’t know why they are here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid the praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.52 (Location 250)

Tags: lp

Note: .lp

Have you taken the time to get clarity about who you are and what you stand for? Or are you too busy chasing unimportant things, mimicking the wrong influences, and following disappointing or unfulfilling or nonexistent paths? (Location 261)

January 7th SEVEN CLEAR FUNCTIONS OF THE MIND

“The proper work of the mind is the exercise of choice, refusal, yearning, repulsion, preparation, purpose, and assent. What then can pollute and clog the mind’s proper functioning? Nothing but its own corrupt decisions.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.11.6–7 (Location 264)

Choice—to do and think right Refusal—of temptation Yearning—to be better Repulsion—of negativity, of bad influences, of what isn’t true Preparation—for what lies ahead or whatever may happen Purpose—our guiding principle and highest priority Assent—to be free of deception about what’s inside and outside our control (and be ready to accept the latter) (Location 270)

Choice—to do and think right Refusal—of temptation Yearning—to be better Repulsion—of negativity, of bad influences, of what isn’t true Preparation—for what lies ahead or whatever may happen Purpose—our guiding principle and highest priority Assent—to be free of deception about… (Location 270)

January 8th SEEING OUR…

“We must give up many things to which we are addicted, considering them to be good. Otherwise, courage will vanish, which should continually test itself. Greatness of soul will be lost, which can’t stand out unless it disdains as petty what the… (Location 278)

What we consider to be harmless indulgences can easily become… ... The little compulsions and drives we have not only chip away at our freedom and sovereignty,… (Location 284)

January 9th WHAT WE CONTROL AND…

“Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don’t control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing. Even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhindered, and unobstructed, while those not in our… (Location 292)

You don’t control the situation, but you control what you… (Location 300)

Every single thing that is outside your control—the outside world, other people, luck, karma, whatever—still presents a corresponding area that is in your control. This… (Location 301)

January 10th IF YOU WANT TO…

“The essence of good is a certain kind of reasoned choice; just as the essence of evil is another kind. What about externals, then? They are only the raw material for our reasoned choice, which finds its own good or evil in working with them. How will it find the good? Not by marveling at the material! For if judgments about the material are straight that makes our choices… (Location 306)

The Stoics seek steadiness, stability, and tranquility—traits most of us aspire to but seem to experience only fleetingly. How do they accomplish this elusive goal? How does one embody eustatheia (the word Arrian used to describe this teaching of Epictetus)? Well, it’s not luck. It’s not by eliminating outside influences or running away to quiet and solitude. Instead, it’s about filtering the outside world through the straightener of our judgment. That’s what… (Location 312)

January 11th IF YOU WANT TO BE…

“For if a person shifts their caution to their own reasoned choices and the acts of those choices, they will at the same time gain the will to avoid, but if they shift their caution away from their own reasoned choices to things not under their control, seeking to avoid what is controlled by others, they… (Location 321)

If you seek to avoid all disruptions to tranquility—other people, external events, stress—you will never be successful. Your problems will follow you wherever you run and hide. But if you seek to avoid the harmful and disruptive judgments that cause those problems, then you will be stable and steady wherever you happen to be. (Location 330)

January 12th THE ONE PATH TO SERENITY

“Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and Fortune.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.39 (Location 334)

January 13th CIRCLE OF CONTROL

“We control our reasoned choice and all acts that depend on that moral will. What’s not under our control are the body and any of its parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children, or country—anything with which we might associate.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.22.10 (Location 347)

According to the Stoics, the circle of control contains just one thing: YOUR MIND. ... You’ve got just one thing to manage: your choices, your will, your mind. So mind it. (Location 354)

January 14th CUT THE STRINGS THAT PULL YOUR MIND

“Understand at last that you have something in you more powerful and divine than what causes the bodily passions and pulls you like a mere puppet. What thoughts now occupy my mind? Is it not fear, suspicion, desire, or something like that?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.19 (Location 361)

As Viktor Frankl puts it in The Will to Meaning, “Man is pushed by drives but pulled by values.” These values and inner awareness prevent us from being puppets. Sure, paying attention requires work and awareness, but isn’t that better than being jerked about on a string? (Location 372)

January 15th PEACE IS IN STAYING THE COURSE

“Tranquility can’t be grasped except by those who have reached an unwavering and firm power of judgment—the rest constantly fall and rise in their decisions, wavering in a state of alternately rejecting and accepting things. What is the cause of this back and forth? It’s because nothing is clear and they rely on the most uncertain guide—common opinion.” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 95.57b–58a (Location 376)

In Seneca’s essay on tranquility, he uses the Greek word euthymia, which he defines as “believing in yourself and trusting that you are on the right path, and not being in doubt by following the myriad footpaths of those wandering in every direction.” It is this state of mind, he says, that produces tranquility. (Location 383)

Tags: lp

Note: .lp

Clarity of vision allows us to have this belief. That’s not to say we’re always going to be 100 percent certain of everything, or that we even should be. Rather, it’s that we can rest assured we’re heading generally in the right direction—that we don’t need to constantly compare ourselves with other people or change our mind every three seconds based on new information. Instead, tranquility and peace are found in identifying our path and in sticking to it: staying the course—making adjustments here and there, naturally—but ignoring the distracting sirens who beckon us to turn toward the rocks. (Location 386)

January 16th NEVER DO ANYTHING OUT OF HABIT

January 17th REBOOT THE REAL WORK (Location 405)

You have the best teachers in the world: the wisest philosophers who ever lived. And not only are you capable, the professor is asking for something very simple: just begin the work. The rest follows. (Location 417)

January 18th SEE THE WORLD LIKE A POET AND AN ARTIST

“Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature, and come to your final resting place gracefully, just as a ripened olive might drop, praising the earth that nourished it and grateful to the tree that gave it growth.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.48.2 (Location 420)

There is clarity (and joy) in seeing what others can’t see, in finding grace and harmony in places others overlook. Isn’t that far better than seeing the world as some dark place? (Location 433)

January 19th WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOUR CHOICE IS

“A podium and a prison is each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.6.25 (Location 436)

One thing will stay constant: our freedom of choice—both in the big picture and small picture. Ultimately, this is clarity. Whoever we are, wherever we are—what matters is our choices. (Location 445)

January 20th REIGNITE YOUR THOUGHTS

“Your principles can’t be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them, for it’s continually in your power to reignite new ones. . . . It’s possible to start living again! See things anew as you once did—that is how to restart life!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.2 (Location 450)

What happened yesterday—what happened five minutes ago—is the past. We can reignite and restart whenever we like. (Location 460)

January 21st A MORNING RITUAL

Taking that time is what Stoics advocated more than almost anything else. We don’t know whether Marcus Aurelius wrote his Meditations in the morning or at night, but we know he carved out moments of quiet alone time—and that he wrote for himself, not for anyone else. (Location 476)

January 22nd THE DAY IN REVIEW

“I will keep constant watch over myself and—most usefully—will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil—that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We reflect upon only that which we are about to do. And yet our plans for the future descend from the past.” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 83.2 (Location 482)

At the beginning or end of each day, the Stoic sits down with his journal and reviews: what he did, what he thought, what could be improved. (Location 490)

January 23rd THE TRUTH ABOUT MONEY

External things can’t fix internal issues. (Location 509)

January 24th PUSH FOR DEEP UNDERSTANDING

“From Rusticus . . . I learned to read carefully and not be satisfied with a rough understanding of the whole, and not to agree too quickly with those who have a lot to say about something.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 1.7.3 (Location 514)

January 25th THE ONLY PRIZE

The more things we desire and the more we have to do to earn or attain those achievements, the less we actually enjoy our lives—and the less free we are. (Location 547)

January 26th THE POWER OF A MANTRA

“Erase the false impressions from your mind by constantly saying to yourself, I have it in my soul to keep out any evil, desire or any kind of disturbance—instead, seeing the true nature of things, I will give them only their due. Always remember this power that nature gave you.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.29 (Location 550)

Marcus Aurelius would suggest this Stoic mantra—a reminder or watch phrase to use when we feel false impressions, distractions, or the crush of everyday life upon us. It says, essentially, “I have the power within me to keep that out. I can see the truth.” (Location 559)

January 27th THE THREE AREAS OF TRAINING

January 28th WATCHING THE WISE

“Take a good hard look at people’s ruling principle, especially of the wise, what they run away from and what they seek out.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.38 (Location 582)

January 29th KEEP IT SIMPLE

“At every moment keep a sturdy mind on the task at hand, as a Roman and human being, doing it with strict and simple dignity, affection, freedom, and justice—giving yourself a break from all other considerations. You can do this if you approach each task as if it is your last, giving up every distraction, emotional subversion of reason, and all drama, vanity, and complaint over your fair share. You can see how mastery over a few things makes it possible to live an abundant and devout life—for, if you keep watch over these things, the gods won’t ask for more.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 2.5 (Location 592)

January 30th YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY ON TOP OF EVERYTHING

“If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters—don’t wish to seem knowledgeable. And if some regard you as important, distrust yourself.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 13a (Location 607)

How much more time, energy, and pure brainpower would you have available if you drastically cut your media consumption? (Location 617)

January 31st PHILOSOPHY AS MEDICINE OF THE SOUL

“Don’t return to philosophy as a task-master, but as patients seek out relief in a treatment of sore eyes, or a dressing for a burn, or from an ointment. Regarding it this way, you’ll obey reason without putting it on display and rest easy in its care.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.9 (Location 621)

Stoicism is designed to be medicine for the soul. It relieves us of the vulnerabilities of modern life. It restores us with the vigor we need to thrive in life. Check in with it today, and let it do its healing. (Location 631)

FEBRUARY   PASSIONS AND EMOTIONS

February 1st FOR THE HOT-HEADED MAN

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.18.5b (Location 637)

Strength is the ability to maintain a hold of oneself. It’s being the person who never gets mad, who cannot be rattled, because they are in control of their passions—rather than controlled by their passions. (Location 649)

February 2nd A PROPER FRAME OF MIND

“Frame your thoughts like this—you are an old person, you won’t let yourself be enslaved by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you’ll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 2.2 (Location 652)

We would never let another person jerk us around the way we let our impulses do. It’s time we start seeing it that way—that we’re not puppets that can be made to dance this way or that way just because we feel like it. We should be the ones in control, not our emotions, because we are independent, self-sufficient people. (Location 663)

February 3rd THE SOURCE OF YOUR ANXIETY

“When I see an anxious person, I ask myself, what do they want? For if a person wasn’t wanting something outside of their own control, why would they be stricken by anxiety?” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.13.1 (Location 667)

February 4th ON BEING INVINCIBLE

“Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.18.21 (Location 680)

Our reasoned choice—our prohairesis, as the Stoics called it—is a kind of invincibility that we can cultivate. We can shrug off hostile attacks and breeze through pressure or problems. (Location 690)

February 5th STEADY YOUR IMPULSES

“Don’t be bounced around, but submit every impulse to the claims of justice, and protect your clear conviction in every appearance.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.22 (Location 694)

If there’s a central message of Stoic thought, it’s this: impulses of all kinds are going to come, and your work is to control them, like bringing a dog to heel. Put more simply: think before you act. Ask: Who is in control here? What principles are guiding me? (Location 701)

February 6th DON’T SEEK OUT STRIFE

February 7th FEAR IS A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

“Many are harmed by fear itself, and many may have come to their fate while dreading fate.” —SENECA, OEDIPUS, 992 (Location 723)

The next time you are afraid of some supposedly disastrous outcome, remember that if you don’t control your impulses, if you lose your self-control, you may be the very source of the disaster you so fear. (Location 733)

February 8th DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?

“You cry, I’m suffering severe pain! Are you then relieved from feeling it, if you bear it in an unmanly way?” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 78.17 (Location 737)

The next time you find yourself in the middle of a freakout, or moaning and groaning with flulike symptoms, or crying tears of regret, just ask: Is this actually making me feel better? Is this actually relieving any of the symptoms I wish were gone? (Location 744)

February 9th YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE AN OPINION

“We have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and to not let it upset our state of mind—for things have no natural power to shape our judgments.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.52 (Location 748)

February 10th ANGER IS BAD FUEL

“There is no more stupefying thing than anger, nothing more bent on its own strength. If successful, none more arrogant, if foiled, none more insane—since it’s not driven back by weariness even in defeat, when fortune removes its adversary it turns its teeth on itself.” —SENECA, ON ANGER, 3.1.5 (Location 760)

February 12th PROTECT YOUR PEACE OF MIND

“Keep constant guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness and steadiness, peace of mind, freedom from pain and fear, in a word your freedom. For what would you sell these things?” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.3.6b–8 (Location 792)

February 13th PLEASURE CAN BECOME PUNISHMENT

“Whenever you get an impression of some pleasure, as with any impression, guard yourself from being carried away by it, let it await your action, give yourself a pause. After that, bring to mind both times, first when you have enjoyed the pleasure and later when you will regret it and hate yourself. Then compare to those the joy and satisfaction you’d feel for abstaining altogether. However, if a seemingly appropriate time arises to act on it, don’t be overcome by its comfort, pleasantness, and allure—but against all of this, how much better the consciousness of conquering it.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 34 (Location 806)

It’s important to connect the so-called temptation with its actual effects. Once you understand that indulging might actually be worse than resisting, the urge begins to lose its appeal. In this way, self-control becomes the real pleasure, and the temptation becomes the regret. (Location 819)

February 14th THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

“For to be wise is only one thing—to fix our attention on our intelligence, which guides all things everywhere.” —HERACLITUS, QUOTED IN DIOGENES LAERTIUS, LIVES OF THE EMINENT PHILOSOPHERS, 9.1 (Location 823)

February 15th ONLY BAD DREAMS

“Clear your mind and get a hold on yourself and, as when awakened from sleep and realizing it was only a bad dream upsetting you, wake up and see that what’s there is just like those dreams.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.31 (Location 835)

Many of the things that upset us, the Stoics believed, are a product of the imagination, not reality. Like dreams, they are vivid and realistic at the time but preposterous once we come out of it. In a dream, we never stop to think and say: “Does this make any sense?” No, we go along with it. The same goes with our flights of anger or fear or other extreme emotions. Getting upset is like continuing the dream while you’re awake. The thing that provoked you wasn’t real—but your reaction was. And so from the fake comes real consequences. Which is why you need to wake up right now instead of creating a nightmare. (Location 843)

February 16th DON’T MAKE THINGS HARDER THAN THEY NEED TO BE

“If someone asks you how to write your name, would you bark out each letter? And if they get angry, would you then return the anger? Wouldn’t you rather gently spell out each letter for them? So then, remember in life that your duties are the sum of individual acts. Pay attention to each of these as you do your duty . . . just methodically complete your task.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.26 (Location 849)

Life (and our job) is difficult enough. Let’s not make it harder by getting emotional about insignificant matters or digging in for battles we don’t actually care about. Let’s not let emotion get in the way of kathêkon, the simple, appropriate actions on the path to virtue. (Location 861)

THE ENEMY OF HAPPINESS

“It is quite impossible to unite happiness with a yearning for what we don’t have. Happiness has all that it wants, and resembling the well-fed, there shouldn’t be hunger or thirst.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.24.17 (Location 865)

Eagerly anticipating some future event, passionately imagining something you desire, looking forward to some happy scenario—as pleasurable as these activities might seem, they ruin your chance at happiness here and now. Locate that yearning for more, better, someday and see it for what it is: the enemy of your contentment. Choose it or your happiness. As Epictetus says, the two are not compatible. (Location 872)

PREPARE FOR THE STORM

“This is the true athlete—the person in rigorous training against false impressions. Remain firm, you who suffer, don’t be kidnapped by your impressions! The struggle is great, the task divine—to gain mastery, freedom, happiness, and tranquility.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.18.27–28 (Location 877)

THE BANQUET OF LIFE

“Remember to conduct yourself in life as if at a banquet. As something being passed around comes to you, reach out your hand and take a moderate helping. Does it pass you by? Don’t stop it. It hasn’t yet come? Don’t burn in desire for it, but wait until it arrives in front of you. Act this way with children, a spouse, toward position, with wealth—one day it will make you worthy of a banquet with the gods.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 15 (Location 889)

The next time you see something you want, remember Epictetus’s metaphor of life’s banquet. As you find yourself getting excited, ready to do anything and everything to get it—the equivalent of reaching across the table and grabbing a dish out of someone’s hands—just remind yourself: that’s bad manners and unnecessary. Then wait patiently for your turn. This metaphor has other interpretations too. For instance, we might reflect that we’re lucky to have been invited to such a wonderful feast (gratitude). Or that we should take our time and savor the taste of what’s on offer (enjoying the present moment) but that to stuff ourselves sick with food and drink serves no one, least of all our health (gluttony is a deadly sin, after all). That at the end of the meal, it’s rude not to help the host clean up and do the dishes (selflessness). And finally, that next time, it’s our turn to host and treat others just as we had been treated (charity). (Location 895)

WISH NOT, WANT NOT

“Remember that it’s not only the desire for wealth and position that debases and subjugates us, but also the desire for peace, leisure, travel, and learning. It doesn’t matter what the external thing is, the value we place on it subjugates us to another . . . where our heart is set, there our impediment lies.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.1–2; 15 (Location 915)

What we desire makes us vulnerable. ... To want nothing makes one invincible—because nothing lies outside your control. (Location 922)

When it comes to your goals and the things you strive for, ask yourself: Am I in control of them or they in control of me? (Location 929)

WHAT’S BETTER LEFT UNSAID

“Cato practiced the kind of public speech capable of moving the masses, believing proper political philosophy takes care like any great city to maintain the warlike element. But he was never seen practicing in front of others, and no one ever heard him rehearse a speech. When he was told that people blamed him for his silence, he replied, ‘Better they not blame my life. I begin to speak only when I’m certain what I’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.’” —PLUTARCH, CATO THE YOUNGER, 4 (Location 932)

It’s easy to act—to just dive in. It’s harder to stop, to pause, to think: No, I’m not sure I need to do that yet. I’m not sure I am ready. (Location 938)

CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE NO CARE FOR OUR FEELINGS

“You shouldn’t give circumstances the power to rouse anger, for they don’t care at all.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.38 (Location 946)

THE REAL SOURCE OF HARM

“Keep in mind that it isn’t the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it’s really your own opinion fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 20 (Location 961)

Tags: self-mastery

The Stoics remind us that there really is no such thing as an objectively good or bad occurrence. ... Our reaction is what actually decides whether harm has occurred. ... But if we retain control of ourselves, we decide whether to label something good or bad. In fact, if that same event happened to us at different points in our lifetime, we might have very different reactions. So why not choose now to not apply these labels? Why not choose not to react? (Location 966)

THE SMOKE AND DUST OF MYTH

“Keep a list before your mind of those who burned with anger and resentment about something, of even the most renowned for success, misfortune, evil deeds, or any special distinction. Then ask yourself, how did that work out? Smoke and dust, the stuff of simple myth trying to be legend . . .” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.27 (Location 976)

Marcus liked to point out that Alexander the Great—one of the most passionate and ambitious men who ever lived—was buried in the same ground as his mule driver. Eventually, all of us will pass away and slowly be forgotten. We should enjoy this brief time we have on earth—not be enslaved to emotions that make us miserable and dissatisfied. (Location 985)

TO EACH HIS OWN

“Another has done me wrong? Let him see to it. He has his own tendencies, and his own affairs. What I have now is what the common nature has willed, and what I endeavor to accomplish now is what my nature wills.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.25 (Location 989)

Abraham Lincoln occasionally got fuming mad with a subordinate, one of his generals, even a friend. Rather than taking it out on that person directly, he’d write a long letter, outlining his case why they were wrong and what he wanted them to know. Then Lincoln would fold it up, put the letter in the desk drawer, and never send it. Many of these letters survive only by chance. He knew, as the former emperor of Rome knew, that it’s easy to fight back. It’s tempting to give them a piece of your mind. But you almost always end up with regret. You almost always wish you hadn’t sent the letter. (Location 994)

CULTIVATING INDIFFERENCE WHERE OTHERS GROW PASSION (Location 1000)

“Of all the things that are, some are good, others bad, and yet others indifferent. The good are virtues and all that share in them; the bad are the vices and all that indulge them; the indifferent lie in between virtue and vice and include wealth, health, life, death, pleasure, and pain.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.19.12b–13 (Location 1001)

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS (BE) GET(TING) WHAT YOU WANT

“When children stick their hand down a narrow goody jar they can’t get their full fist out and start crying. Drop a few treats and you will get it out! Curb your desire—don’t set your heart on so many things and you will get what you need.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.9.22 (Location 1027)

“Don’t set your heart on so many things,” says Epictetus. Focus. Prioritize. Train your mind to ask: Do I need this thing? What will happen if I do not get it? Can I make do without it? The answers to these questions will help you relax, help you cut out all the needless things that make you busy—too busy to be balanced or happy. (Location 1036)

MARCH   AWARENESS

“The proper work of the mind is the exercise of choice, refusal, yearning, repulsion, preparation, purpose, and assent. What then can pollute and clog the mind’s proper functioning? Nothing but its own… (Location 264)

If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled—have you no shame in that?” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 28 (Location 1136)

The Zen meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn coined a famous expression: “Wherever you go, there you are.” (Location 1330)

There are two ways to be wealthy—to get everything you want or to want everything you have. Which is easier right here and right now? (Location 1385)

To quote Fight Club again, “We buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like.” (Location 1444)

the eighteenth-century writer and witticist Nicolas Chamfort, who remarked that if you “swallow a toad every morning,” you’ll be fortified against anything else disgusting that might happen the rest of the day. (Location 1546)

It isn’t events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 5 (Location 1599)

“Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.17.1 (Location 1609)

Note: Beginners mind

You have been formed of three parts—body, breath, and mind. Of these, the first two are yours insofar as they are only in your care. The third alone is truly yours.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.3 (Location 1777)

I’m constantly amazed by how easily we love ourselves above all others, yet we put more stock in the opinions of others than in our own estimation of self. . . . How much credence we give to the opinions our peers have of us and how little to our very own!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.4 (Location 2209)

“Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.” —ZENO, QUOTED IN DIOGENES LAERTIUS, LIVES OF THE EMINENT (Location 2224)

One does not magically get one’s act together—it is a matter of many individual choices. It’s a matter of getting up at the right time, making your bed, resisting shortcuts, investing in yourself, doing your work. And make no mistake: while the individual action is small, its cumulative impact is not. (Location 2232)

In The Dip, Seth Godin draws an interesting analogy from the three types of people you see in line at the supermarket. One gets in a short line and sticks to it no matter how slow it is or how much faster the others seem to be going. Another changes lines repeatedly based on whatever he thinks might save a few seconds. And a third switches only once—when it’s clear her line is delayed and there is a clear alternative—and then continues with her day. He’s urging you to ask: Which type are you? (Location 2363)

Elite athletes in collegiate and professional sports increasingly follow a philosophy known as “The Process.” It’s a philosophy created by University of Alabama coach Nick Saban, who taught his players to ignore the big picture—important games, winning championships, the opponent’s enormous lead—and focus instead on doing the absolutely smallest things well—practicing with full effort, finishing a specific play, converting on a single possession. (Location 2392)

SOLVE PROBLEMS EARLY

“If you find something very difficult to achieve yourself, don’t imagine it impossible—for anything possible and proper for another person can be achieved as easily by you.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.19 (Location 2414)

How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.18.8 (Location 2425)

“In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.51 (Location 2855)

“Often injustice lies in what you aren’t doing, not only in what you are doing.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 9.5 (Location 3035)

STOIC JOY

No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have.” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 123.3 (Location 3504)

Whenever you take offense at someone’s wrongdoing, immediately turn to your own similar failings, such as seeing money as good, or pleasure, or a little fame—whatever form it takes. By thinking on this, you’ll quickly forget your anger, considering also what compels them—for what else could they do? Or, if you are able, remove their compulsion.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 10.30 (Location 3530)

“What does not kill me makes me stronger,” Nietzsche said. (Location 3595)

Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” (Location 3673)

Note: Franklin Delano Roosevelt

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.61 (Location 3827)

While you don’t control external events, you retain the ability to decide how you respond to those events. You control what every external event means to you personally (Location 3962)

Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe. For in a sense, all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other—for one thing follows after another according to their tension of movement, their sympathetic stirrings, and the unity of all substance.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.38 (Location 4026)

That which isn’t good for the hive, isn’t good for the bee.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.54 (Location 4041)

The universe is change. Life is opinion.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.3.4b (Location 4539)

“No man steps in the same river twice.” (Location 4624)

Note: Heraclitus

“Hecato says, ‘cease to hope and you will cease to fear.’ . . . The primary cause of both these ills is that instead of adapting ourselves to present circumstances we send out thoughts too far ahead.” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 5.7b–8 (Location 4630)

There is a helpful analogy to explain the logos: We are like a dog leashed to a moving cart. The direction of the cart will determine where we go. Depending on the length of the leash, we also have a fair amount of room to explore and determine the pace, but ultimately what each of us must choose is whether we will go willingly or be painfully dragged. Which will it be? (Location 4834)

This is the mark of perfection of character—to spend each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, laziness, or any pretending.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.69 (Location 5034)

Stop wandering about! You aren’t likely to read your own notebooks, or ancient histories, or the anthologies you’ve collected to enjoy in your old age. Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 3.14 (Location 5265)

a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled—have you no shame in that?” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 28 (Location 1136)

isn’t events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 5 (Location 1599)

have been formed of three parts—body, breath, and mind. Of these, the first two are yours insofar as they are only in your care. The third alone is truly yours.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.3 (Location 1777)

m constantly amazed by how easily we love ourselves above all others, yet we put more stock in the opinions of others than in our own estimation of self. . . . How much credence we give to the opinions our peers have of us and how little to our very own!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.4 (Location 2209)

much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.18.8 (Location 2425)

person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have.” —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 123.3 (Location 3504)

you take offense at someone’s wrongdoing, immediately turn to your own similar failings, such as seeing money as good, or pleasure, or a little fame—whatever form it takes. By thinking on this, you’ll quickly forget your anger, considering also what compels them—for what else could they do? Or, if you are able, remove their compulsion.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 10.30 (Location 3530)

me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” (Location 3673)

Note: Franklin Delano Roosevelt

art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.61 (Location 3827)

While you don’t control external events, you retain the ability to decide how you respond to those events. You control what every external event means to you personally. (Location 3962)

often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe. For in a sense, all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other—for one thing follows after another according to their tension of movement, their sympathetic stirrings, and the unity of all substance.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.38 (Location 4026)

which isn’t good for the hive, isn’t good for the bee.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.54 (Location 4041)

universe is change. Life is opinion.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.3.4b (Location 4539)

is the mark of perfection of character—to spend each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, laziness, or any pretending.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.69 (Location 5034)

wandering about! You aren’t likely to read your own notebooks, or ancient histories, or the anthologies you’ve collected to enjoy in your old age. Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 3.14 (Location 5265)