Discover Your Purpose

‣

Table of Contents

Preface

I’ve polled thousands of my clients and students, and found that what most people want comes down to three basic desires: financial freedom through a career they love and can be proud of, fulfilling relationships both personally and in business, and abundant energy and well-being for a lifetime of enjoying it all. (Location 55)

Getting what you really want in your life is easier than it might appear. The biggest barrier is not knowing your life purpose or how to discover, nurture, and express your special calling in life. Once you know who you are and what your unique purpose is in life, a door opens, and you step through it fearlessly to pursue your dreams and goals, fueled by an endless source of energy to do it. (Location 60)

To heal others you must heal yourself first, and, in the broadest terms, healing means becoming whole. (Location 71)

First, get clear on what your life purpose is—not the one that others think you are supposed to live but the one that is yours by birth, your soul’s choice. Second, acquire the courage to step toward your life’s calling and not fall into old unconscious patterns that stop you. And third, tap into the energy available to act fearlessly in alignment with that calling every day, until you break your habits of procrastination and start living your life motivated by a deep sense of calling and mission. (Location 73)

As you cultivate your own unique abilities, you become someone who can motivate and inspire others, not just in your own language but in theirs, too. (Location 78)

Introduction

PART I: Getting Clear on Your Big Why

CHAPTER 1: The Missing Piece

The French call it the raison d’être, your “reason for being.” Buddhists call it dharma, your path in life. It goes by other names: your calling or mission in life; your destiny. But all of these references point to the same thing: you are here for a purpose, and knowing that purpose, that Big Why, is the key to all of your success and happiness in life. (Location 126)

Our Evolving Life Purpose

Our understanding of who we are and what our purpose is in the world has evolved throughout human history. In the beginning, as self-awareness was dawning in humanity, our purpose was defined by personal and tribal survival. (Location 135)

Consciousness evolved, and individual survival and small tribes gave way to society, government, religion, and corporations. A person’s purpose then became associated with their contribution to the group; each person applied his or her skills to a job. (Location 140)

This is the understanding of “life purpose” most prevalent in our world today: Our life purpose is limited to our jobs and our roles in family and society. Our sense of self-worth depends on the amount of external influence we have and the money and resources we control. Within this system, we have the illusion of freedom, but when material success and recognition are the primary ways we define ourselves, our sense of life purpose and its expression are limited. Society supports a pattern of striving that does not bring us inner peace. (Location 142)

Today, we are evolving into this new kind of humanity. Jung called this new human the individuated self, Maslow called it the self-actualized self, Wayne Dyer calls it the no-limit person. I call it the core soul self to underscore an identity that includes not only your accomplishments and your potential but also the spiritual and energetic dimension of your human experience. (Location 150)

The need to find our unique life purpose is now more important than ever, as we let go of old identities and roles based on gender and occupation, and have an unprecedented amount of leisure time and resources. (Location 154)

The question What should I do with my life? may no longer be the right question. Instead, you might start with the question Who am I? Knowing who you are, not what you should do, is the missing ingredient in your life purpose pursuit. (Location 162)

Your Core Soul Self

Your life purpose is not chosen by you but by your soul. Because it is your soul’s choice, it is nonnegotiable. It never changes. It is yours and yours alone for life, and only when you tap into the energy of your soul does your life become directed, purposeful, and even magical. (Location 176)

To truly know your soul is to free yourself of all illusions that limit your creative force. This freedom comes as you realize that your power to create—your life purpose—is a gift you have been given. You accept that gift when you stop chasing after someone else’s ideal life and rediscover the source of your own life—your unique core soul self. (Location 180)

You Are Your Big Why

You are your life purpose, and you always have been. If you are waiting for the right circumstances to show you your purpose in life, you are missing the point. (Location 187)

The reality is that you are already fully on your path; you just don’t recognize it. You don’t recognize it because you don’t know yourself well enough, in all of your many dimensions, to see how you fit into your own life. If you did, nothing would stop you. (Location 188)

Why you are here, and what message you are here to share with the world, is revealed by your circumstances, not created by them. (Location 202)

The pleasure of knowing and being you is the first step to finding your individual life purpose and transforming your life. Then, as you share your truth with others, you will find that you have a larger life purpose that is destined to play an essential part in the transformation of all your relationships, your society, and the world. (Location 286)

CHAPTER 2: The Five Life Purpose Profiles

Origins of the Profile System

The Life Purpose Profile System has its roots in the work of Alexander Lowen, a physician and psychotherapist whose groundbreaking research was presented in his 1975 best seller, Bioenergetics (Location 296)

Lowen went on to develop a theory of five distinct types of character structures in people based on physical, mental, and emotional tendencies. He was looking mainly at energetic excess or deficiency as they showed up in a person’s physical body. (Location 301)

Lowen called his five types character structures and saw them as the underlying motivators in a person’s life. He spent many years developing a full-body approach to mental and physical health based on his understanding of how energy blockages limited a person’s ability to express feelings or needs. His main contribution was to bring attention to body armoring, a person’s unconscious, defensive responses that result in a decrease in physical function and eventually illness. (Location 305)

Development of the Rhys Method® Life Purpose Profiles

Your core soul self, the undefended you, is the source of all your energy, passion, joy, and inner peace. Your defense, on the other hand, is a master wall-builder whose job is to protect you from being vulnerable or hurt. It will never bring you lasting happiness or unity. No peace or joy is possible as long as your energy feeds your fear of losing what you have instead of feeding your ability to reach for what you are capable of. (Location 340)

Introducing the Five Life Purpose Profiles

where my profiles diverge from Lowen’s types is in the inclusion of a person’s core soul qualities that help the person manifest his or her life purpose in the world. (Location 350)

there are five distinct expressions of the soul’s purpose in human beings. We all fit into one or another of the following primary soul “flavors”: Thinkers, Feelers, Caretakers, Achievers, and Leaders. (Location 351)

You may understandably have a resistance to being labeled or judged. After all, people have used many repressive classification systems for generations that ultimately negate the integrity of other human beings. (Location 356)

The Rhys Method® Life Purpose Profiles are not labels that limit and contain and negate. Rather, they are an acknowledgment of the unique greatness that is in each of us. Once we see our gifts, we can make the choices we must make to do our part in transforming our lives and those of others on this planet. (Location 359)

Each of us has one primary Life Purpose Profile that then blends with a secondary profile to give us our unique expression. The remaining three profiles also come into play, if only to a minor degree, making each person’s overall profile a composite of all five. (Location 370)

Each human being will express his or her unique quality based on the infinite number of factors that create a whole person, but one’s specific life purpose—as thinkers, feelers, caretakers, achievers, and leaders—never changes. The result is that no two people are exactly the same, even though everyone falls into the five major life purpose callings. (Location 371)

Below, I’ve listed the core soul qualities of each of the five Life Purpose Profiles: Creative Idealist (Thinker/Creator/Visionary)—the most creative thinkers, connected to the higher mental and spiritual realms Emotional Intelligence Specialist (Feeler/Lover)—the most empathic, loving, and sensitive people who live from the heart Team Player (Nurturer/Caretaker)—the most supportive, serving people who hold families, nations, and whole societies together Knowledgeable Achiever (Doer/Achiever)—the most masterful, organized, and successful people who complete difficult tasks and remind everyone else of the big picture Charismatic Leader–Charmer (Leader/Hero)—the most… (Location 375)

For example, as a Creative Idealist, your energy moves up, into, and out of your head, giving you a tall, thin body. As an Emotional Intelligence Specialist, due to your sensitive nature, your body will be flexible and soft at your belly, concave around your heart. As a Team Player, your energy is reflected in your solid, supportive body and open, friendly face. As a Charismatic Leader–Charmer, you will concentrate your energy up in your neck and shoulders for communication and battle, giving you broad shoulders and a narrow waist. As a Knowledgeable Achiever, your energy serves your performance, and so you have well-balanced muscles and a strong body. Your life purpose and the way you express yourself to the world is directly affected by the type of body you are born into, a point made… (Location 386)

Universal and Spiritual…

The five Life Purpose Profiles describe the five major human qualities that exist in… (Location 395)

There are many ways human beings are grouped or profiled, including socially, politically, and religiously, but without understanding the five profiles with their unique energy and spirituality, few will have the support to find their true life purpose. The five… (Location 398)

Astrology, numerology, Myers-Briggs, and other workplace personality tests are all systems that attempt to define us but are not holistic enough. The Life Purpose Profiles are based not only on physical, mental, and behavioral qualities but acknowledge the nature of each person’s soul—the energetic component,… (Location 401)

Scientists are our modern-day priests, but they are limited by the view that only what is tangible and observable is real, and the soul’s energy doesn’t fall into that category. Yet this is changing. Quantum physics, still not fully embraced, reveals a very different picture than the materialist universe that most accept. The Heisenberg principle tells us that we are inextricably connected to all we see,… (Location 405)

Just knowing your profile gives you a quantum leg up… (Location 409)

Knowing by…

The sound that comes from vibrating a crystal bowl resonates perfectly with the human energy field. This is because the human body is almost 100 percent crystalline in structure; water is a liquid crystal and our bones are made up of vast crystalline networks. When a crystal bowl is intoned, the sound amplifies and awakens the human energetic field… (Location 416)

to know who you are, you must feel who you are. (Location 436)

Thinking only gets in the way of finding your true life purpose. Rather, you must feel who you are and what your true calling is, (Location 437)

Lasting Transformation

Real transformation required more: first, an internal awakening to a higher truth; and second, the context in which to understand and hold that awakening for sustained and continued growth. (Location 442)

In order to make permanent change, your new sense of self must have a greater context in which to flourish, one that goes beyond simply a personal desire for change and a rejection of some pattern in your life. You need a foundational understanding of what that change looks and feels like, and where it is leading you. (Location 448)

When you identify and own your specific Life Purpose Profile, you can look back at your life and see every decision you’ve ever made in a new light. You have always been on your path, and the profile system shows you what that path is. Looking through the lens of your profile, your negative life patterns are revealed as shadow aspects of your true self. Those shadow aspects lead to deeper self-awareness and should not be cause for self-rejection. Within this framework, you are able to make better choices. This is real transformation—not a reaction to past choices, but a move toward a deeper, inner truth—the only path to lasting change I have ever seen. (Location 455)

The Promise of the Rhys Method® Life Purpose Profile System

The Rhys Method® Life Purpose Profile System is a profound, life-changing experience that guides you to align with your life purpose, release your defensive patterns that block your life force energy, and embrace the extraordinary individual that you are. (Location 461)

PROMISES OF THE RHYS METHOD LIFE PURPOSE PROFILE SYSTEM

By doing transformational work within the context of your profile, you can: Gain awareness of your essential life purpose and experience the inner peace that goes with that awareness. See more clearly the unique power within others and, as a result, interact with them more effectively. Connect to your essential life force for passion and energy to live a full life. Enlist the universal laws of attraction to draw to you what you need in fulfilling and manifesting your life purpose. See how everything in your life supports you in developing and living your life purpose instead of draining your focus and energy. Become a master communicator, transcending all demographics, life experiences, races, and levels of intelligence to know the heart and soul of anyone you relate to. Learn to forgive family members so you can move on in your life. By simply understanding your parents’ profiles and the profiles in your failed relationships, you see how those relationships needed to turn out the way they did. Own your power and let go of blame and victimization once and for all, stepping up in your own self-esteem and in esteeming others. (Location 466)

The Bigger Picture

We are not all here to change the course of an entire rrace of people or start a new religion or nation. Some of us are here to simply be the best we can be and do unto others as we would have them do unto us. But when each of us becomes aware of our gifts and readily shares them, the gross imbalance in power and resources that keeps our world locked in war and injustice will fade into the pages of history. (Location 516)

CHAPTER 3: Discover Your Profile

Scoring Your Questionnaire

To determine which Life Purpose Profile is your primary one, refer to your highest score and then match its box number to your profile below. Your secondary profile is your second-highest score, and the remaining three scores correlate to your remaining three profiles, ranked according to how many checks you made. Box 1—Creative Idealist Box 2—Emotional Intelligence Specialist Box 3—Team Player Box 4—Charismatic Leader–Charmer Box 5—Knowledgeable Achiever Once you’ve identified your two top-scoring profiles, go back through the questionnaire statements and read all those that belong to your two profiles, including the ones you did not select. (The statements on the questionnaire are listed in the same order as the scoring box and profile names.) Every statement that you read from your primary profile should resonate with you at some level, and many of the secondary ones will also. You may have scored very evenly among two, three, or four profiles, making it difficult to determine which are your primary and secondary profiles. If this is the case, you will want to consider exploring further in the Charismatic Leader–Charmer profile. Charismatic Leader–Charmers are capable of living through any of the profiles, since they have natural actor/actress abilities and the different profiles are all avenues for that theatrical expression. To live their life purpose, just as for any other profile, Charismatic Leader–Charmers must come into their true nature, which is hidden behind the other profile qualities they may demonstrate. (Location 735)

Helpful Hints for Understanding Your Score

An important point to keep in mind is that the questionnaire is only as accurate as your recognition of the truth—distinct from your conditioned behavior or thought patterns. Often in life, you are expected to play roles or behave in ways that are contrary to your true life purpose. (Location 754)

If you are still struggling with results, there is a more comprehensive assessment at www.discoveryourpurposebook .com/members. (Location 770)

Your Secret Place Meditation

(A recorded version is available for you to listen to at discoveryourpurposebook.com/members484. (Location 773)

Preparation

choose a place where you can be alone for a half hour to embark on this discovery. You are free to sit or lie down; just make sure that wherever you go and however you position yourself, you are comfortable. (Location 792)

You may also want to play some soft and relaxing music. I suggest my Life Purpose Crystal Bowls mp3, which can be downloaded at… (Location 793)

Keep a pen and a journal near you. This allows you to record your discoveries during the meditation or upon finishing it, while they are still fresh in your mind. You can bring a favorite blanket, book, stone, or object that you associate with inner peace. If you have a childhood photo of yourself,… (Location 795)

Now settle in, press PLAY to hear the music or crystal bowl intoning, and surround yourself with your favorite things. You may want to hold your childhood photo in your hand or… (Location 798)

Steps for Your Secret Place…

STEP #1. SEE YOURSELF AS A CHILD. Choose an age between four and ten years old. Allow yourself to feel what it was like to be this age. See your face. What did you look like? What… (Location 802)

STEP #2. IMAGINE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME. No one is home right now, and the neighborhood is quiet. Notice how you feel standing there. Notice how your body feels as you look… (Location 804)

STEP #3. ENTER YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME. As you walk through the front door, notice how you feel being inside the house. Wander through the kitchen, the dining room, and the living room. Then enter the bedrooms in the house, recalling to whom each belonged. How do… (Location 806)

STEP #4. ENTER YOUR ROOM. Once you have passed through all the rooms in the house, enter your own room and feel what it’s like to be there. See yourself surrounded by your favorite toys, dolls, stuffed animals, and pictures on… (Location 809)

STEP #5. IN YOUR IMAGINATION, GO TO YOUR FAVORITE PLACE YOU WENT TO AS A CHILD. This should be a place where you felt good and loved to spend time. It could be a hiding place, a crawlspace, an attic, or a place outside in nature, in the woods, a big rock, a stream or lake, a play house in the backyard, or a favorite tree you would climb. Maybe your secret place was far from your family’s home at a grandparent’s house, at summer camp, or a place you rode your bike to. It could have also been some place you found in your teenage years. No one else knows about… (Location 811)

STEP #6. FEEL WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE IN YOUR SECRET PLACE AND SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Use all five of your senses—sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell—to bring yourself back to that special place. Take a few minutes to let this sensory experience soak in. What does the place look like? Are you playing, reading, thinking, organizing, or fantasizing? Do you always bring a brother or sister with you? Do you have an imaginary friend that you don’t tell anyone about? Are you imagining that you are a royal figure or a special person (like a superhero)? Do you have any special skills or powers? Are you invisible? Can you fly? Now notice how you are feeling in your body, mind, and spirit: Are you hot, cold, tense, relaxed, vibrant, heavy, active, or powerful? Also notice where those feelings are concentrated in your body. What are you thinking about? Are your thoughts racing or still? Are you happy, free, open, or calm? Do you feel fully in the flow of life and do the smallest things like a bug crawling on a leaf bring you joy? Simply notice what comes up for you without trying to change or judge anything that you feel. Enjoy this experience completely. Let yourself soak in it so that you can remember this feeling,… (Location 817)

STEP #7. RETURN TO YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME. This time, all your family members are in the home. As you walk in the door, everyone sticks their heads out from wherever they are in order to look at you. Notice the difference between how you felt and acted in your secret place and how you feel and act in your childhood home. What happens to your energy? Is it different from what you felt in your secret place? Does your body shrink or expand, get tense or loose, hot or cold? Do you feel a pressure like you are being squeezed or compressed into a tight space? Do certain parts of your body feel more compressed than others? Do the patterns of your thoughts change? What emotions come up? Do you feel connected to your spirit? Now walk through the house and interact with your mother, your father, and any brothers and sisters (if you have them) or extended family members who lived with you, as you would have done as a child. Compare your feelings here to the feelings you had in your secret place. Take a moment to write any differences down. Notice how you held yourself in your home, how you got attention, how you avoided getting in trouble, what being good… (Location 828)

STEP #8. RETURN TO YOUR SECRET PLACE. Once again, go back to your secret place and feel yourself fully there. It may take a few minutes to relax into that place again after having been in your childhood home. Once you are relaxed and playing again, enjoy the… (Location 839)

STEP #9. SLOWLY COME BACK TO THE PRESENT TIME. Take a deep breath, wiggle your fingers and toes, open your eyes. Notice how your energy changes as you come back, once again in the place you live now as an adult. Does it feel similar in any way to when you left your secret place and went to your childhood home? Write down any feelings you have about being back and how those… (Location 841)

STEP #10. TAKE A MOMENT FOR SELF-REFLECTION. In your secret place, you experienced your core soul quality and the way you express your primary Life Purpose Profile when you are fully undefended. In your childhood home, you experienced the primary defense that you have likely used in your life to hide your whole self. Even if your parents were the best parents in the world, they still created a home and energetic living environment that was theirs and not yours. You had to fit into that rather than change it to fit your own life purpose needs. As you learn about your primary and secondary profiles, you may find that you expressed your primary profile in your secret place and your secondary profile in your childhood home. For example, you might be a… (Location 845)

STEP #11. FAST-FORWARD TO YOUR TEENAGE YEARS AND TWENTIES. How did living in your household shape the person you were becoming as a teenager? What kind of people are your friends? What role do you take in your relationships and when you start dating? Which groups are you a member of? Just feel what it’s like to be a teenager and express yourself as you were then. Did you still have a secret place? At what age did you stop having time to go to your special place or start seeing it as childish? How did those choices to be the person you are “supposed to be” influence your choice of jobs in your twenties? If you got married, feel the role that you… (Location 852)

STEP #12. FAST-FORWARD TO TODAY. In your life today, reflect on how much time you spend in that state of awe and bliss… (Location 858)

See yourself as a child between the ages 4 and 10. Imagine that you are standing in front of your childhood home. Enter and walk around the rooms. What does the home look like? How does it feel? Enter your own room. What does it look like? How does it feel? Recall a special place you used to go, and see yourself there. Feel what it’s like to be in your special/secret place. Return to your childhood home and notice how different it feels. Return to your secret place to reexperience your feelings there. Slowly come back to the present time. Take a moment for self-reflection. Fast-forward to your teenage years and twenties. How much of your life stayed connected to the… (Location 861)

After the…

Meditate on your secret place for a few minutes every morning for thirty days to help fully… (Location 877)

Creative Idealist with Thinker Defense

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

PROFILES AND THEIR DEFENSES (Location 886)

Note: .h3

Creative Idealist—Thinker Emotional Intelligence Specialist—Poor Me Team Player—People Pleaser Knowledgeable Achiever—Rule Keeper Charismatic Leader–Charmer—Enforcer-Seducer (Location 886)

Creative Idealists often choose a secret place that is located up high, such as the top of a tree or hill. (Location 898)

Note: .c1

It’s rare that you will want to bring other people who might interrupt your time to daydream. (Location 899)

Note: .c2

You may have trouble remembering your childhood because you weren’t viscerally in your body. (Location 902)

Note: .c3

In response to conflict, you chose the “flight” over the “fight” response, leading to much mental scattering and disorganization or to overthinking a situation without taking any action (“paralysis by analysis”). (Location 904)

Note: .c4

Emotional Intelligence Specialist with Poor Me Defense (Location 906)

Note: .h3

IN YOUR SECRET PLACE. You have the richest-feeling experiences, often in your room surrounded by stuffed animals or out in nature with a pet—anywhere as long as it allows you to feel a soft and deep connection to things around you. The connection can be with people but more often is with nature, (Location 907)

Note: .c1

IN YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME (POOR ME). You feel a sense of collapse and defeat—a response to feeling picked on, abused, betrayed, or abandoned. Your energy is heavy, thick, feeling there is nothing you can do, no way to fight back—you are a victim. You may be hypersensitive and needy, and cannot separate your feelings from the feelings of others, often blaming them for the way you feel. (Location 910)

Note: .c2

Team Player with People Pleaser Defense (Location 913)

Note: .h3

Knowledgeable Achiever with Rule Keeper Defense (Location 922)

Note: .h3

Your secret place might be located in a playhouse, a fort, an office, or somewhere you can organize people and solve problems. (Location 923)

You are never needy or demanding and tend to be highly competent and disciplined: (Location 929)

Now, you are highly driven but rarely experience a sense of satisfaction upon achieving your goals, having the biggest inner critic and inner perfectionist of all the profiles. (Location 930)

Charismatic Leader–Charmer with Enforcer-Seducer Defense (Location 931)

Note: .h3

Updated: Sep 28, 2020

PART II Having the Courage to See Your Defense (Location 975)

Note: .h1

CHAPTER 4 Beliefs, Wounds, and Vows (Location 977)

Note: .h2

It is only when you uncover the truth behind your vows that you can call back the energy you repressed so long ago. Only then can you gain the freedom to make conscious choices and act courageously in alignment with who you are and fulfill your life purpose. (Location 990)

Belief and Identity (Location 995)

Note: .h3

All of your experiences in life are filtered through your beliefs. It’s not so much events that shape your experience as it is how you interpret, analyze, and evaluate those events. (Location 996)

Note: .social

The more you created beliefs based on evidence and mental experiences in your life, the more you defined your world as solid, separate, and therefore “real.” (Location 1008)

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

Your body appears to have a solid, separate form, but according to modern science, even that physical part of you is continually changing, making you a part of a universe that has never been the same twice. At the quantum level, looking at the energies that make up your very molecules, there are no particles that are the same as they were even one minute ago! In that light, it seems the only thing about you that is solid and separate is your rigid beliefs and your thinking mind’s memory of who you are. (Location 1013)

Your beliefs establish a solid and dependable self, but they limit who you are in life and the choices you make. (Location 1022)

If you don’t know who you are, believing instead that you are someone you are not, you create a fake life and purpose that invariably feels lost or unsure, as well as a world you don’t fit into. (Location 1023)

Vows: The King of Beliefs

Some beliefs about who you are go deeper than others, especially those formed out of fear and defense when you felt that your identity was threatened. I call such powerful super-beliefs vows. Vows are beliefs that went so deep that they became hardwired and nonnegotiable, preventing you from living your life purpose. (Location 1031)

A vow can be as simple as telling yourself that you will always be polite and nice. As a belief, you consciously decide that never being angry at people is a better choice than being rude or aggressive. But if you vowed always to be polite, you find yourself being nice automatically and holding back your anger, not responding authentically even if you are clearly being abused by another. (Location 1048)

the vow to die a martyr, causing endless harm. Vows are always and never statements. You may have vowed, I will never be as abusive as my father was and hurt other people. Or the opposite: I will always love and care for my family, like my grandmother did when she took us in. (Location 1055)

Vowing Against Your Truth

Even though vows look like you are choosing to be good, they are actually your unconscious choices not to be you. Because vows are always against your true self, there are no good vows. (Location 1066)

You need to find your own unique life purpose hiding behind your vows to be whole and fulfilled. Nothing else will suffice. (Location 1075)

Vows become the “nonnegotiables” in life, reigning over all your beliefs as unquestionable truths. Every time you say, This is just the way the world is! you are referencing a deeply held vow and lie. Beliefs, on the other hand, are cognitive and can be challenged when circumstances clearly do not support them. A vow doesn’t get cognized or even re-cognized, sneaking past any rational process of your thinking mind before becoming real in your feelings, thoughts, and actions. (Location 1076)

Tags: social

Note: .social

Core Wounds and Vows

We all suffer not from specific traumas, as psychologists would have us believe, but rather from something far deeper and more common: the realization that who we are in our very souls is not welcomed by those who care the most for us and unconsciously want us to be more like them than ourselves. (Location 1086)

Tags: social

Note: .social

Every time a child chooses the approval and love of their parent over his or her own truth and integrity, a vow is made. ... These kinds of early vows are often made in the first two to three years of life, at a time when life is a full-body, energetic experience rather than a mental or cognitive one. (Location 1093)

Once you vow, consciously or unconsciously, to see some part of yourself as bad or good, you set up the always or never knee-jerk responses that drastically limit the pleasure you can experience in life. (Location 1102)

Vow patterns begin a domino effect of self-misunderstanding and trigger thousands of false beliefs about who you are and what your purpose is in life. All future choices, beliefs, and vows must honor your original vow in order to be acceptable. Vows are the antithesis of freedom, always going against anything that is part of your true core self. (Location 1107)

The Polarizing Effect of Vows

Any personal crises you experience, whether a midlife crisis or a mental or physical health crisis, come straight from the buildup of hardwired vows you’ve been living by and see no way to change. (Location 1115)

Every powerful structure has its weak point, and a vow’s weakness is revealed when you begin to choose those qualities that are inherent to your soul, not your defended self. (Location 1129)

Simply seeing yourself and others clearly, not through the lens of your fear-based beliefs and vows, allows you to know your true place in the world and be empowered to do what you are here to do. (Location 1135)

This is the secret gift of vows: in hiding who you are, they are your most valuable clues to your true identity and your life purpose. (Location 1140)

ABOUT YOUR VOWS: A SUMMARY

You never get rid of your vows. Vows are deep-rooted beliefs hooked into your nervous system to become autonomic, impulsive reactions. You can see them only after they have triggered a feeling or behavior. To recall the energy that vows deny, you must feel that pattern of self-denial emerging and make the choice to honor your core soul profile quality. (Location 1143)

There are no good vows. Regardless of how “good” some vows may sound, they all limit you and make you someone you are not. Who you are, as expressed through your vows, comes from a negative life choice, triggered by childhood traumas and fears rather than from your real life purpose. (Location 1146)

Vows keep you stuck in the past. You know that you are letting an ancient vow run your life when your behavior is childish and you feel like a victim. When a vow is triggered, you experience current events from the lens of a child or infant who is terrified of being rejected or unloved. (Location 1149)

Vows divide and polarize your world. Your vows divide the world into the “good people” who do the “right thing,” and the “bad people” who do the “wrong thing.” The line is drawn not according to any objective standard but according to your subjective internal judgment. That line cuts through you and slices off the energy you need to live your life purpose, channeled through deep self-acceptance and knowing. (Location 1152)

Vows suck your energy. Vows make your life hard work rather than enjoyable and purpose-filled. Once released, you can rechannel your energy and begin to double and triple the energy available to you at any time. (Location 1155)

Vows are never your life purpose. Over a lifetime, your vows become the principles you think you must stand for and act on to give you a sense of purpose. But in vowing to be a good, caring, and strong person, you are choosing not to be a real person but rather a perfect person, which is never your life purpose. Trying to be what you are not leaves you unable to live an inspired life pursuing the career, relationships, and sense of well-being that are your birthrights. (Location 1158)

Vows, when broken, always bring up guilt and shame. Accepting that you will feel guilt and shame when breaking an ancient vow is the beginning of true personal growth. Feeling the guilt and shame and acting anyway is the path back to wholeness. (Location 1162)

Vows fade when you start to live in your core soul qualities. Only by replacing your vows with your true identity do you become free to call back the energy that gives you the courage to live an extraordinary life. When you choose your core soul qualities over your vows, you start to build a life that is authentic, pleasurable, and fully able to weather life’s storms. (Location 1164)

CHAPTER 5 Shadow, Higher/Lower Self, and Defensive Mask

Your vows to be someone you are not are the actual mechanisms that create what psychology calls your shadow, or rejected aspects of the self, and the resulting defensive mask presents itself to the world as if it were you. (Location 1175)

Living your life purpose requires an integration of the divided needs of your lower and higher self. Only when these seemingly opposing needs are balanced and integrated can your life force energy flow freely throughout your system to support your true life purpose. To embrace the lower and higher self simultaneously takes a higher level of consciousness that sees the importance in both. (Location 1180)

Lower Self, Higher Self

each person has both a lower-self purpose and a higher-self purpose. The two have become divided and vie for our life’s energy in every moment, creating a deep confusion as to who and what we really are. As a result, we create a false self and pretend we are not confused. (Location 1191)

it is the balance of both higher and lower, not the transcendence of the lower self, that is ultimately liberating. (Location 1194)

In the Shadow

The primary way you lose touch with your life force and therefore your life purpose is by making vows that reject the needs and desires of your lower and higher self. In psychology, such rejection creates what is known as the shadow, a concept introduced by Carl Jung and made popular recently by author and transformational leader Debbie Ford. (Location 1204)

seeming delusional. The important point is that your shadow is made up of both your higher self and lower self, and that the rejection of either self leads to you not living as your core soul self. ... When you reject these essential elements of yourself, the life force energy that seeks to emerge through the awakening of your soul self is blocked from flowing freely through your system. By its nature, it must go somewhere, and so it goes out of your system through an energetic process called projection. (Location 1209)

Your Lower Self

Your lower self represents your instinctual and survival-based drives, the part of you that inherently knows what you want and how to get it, whether socially appropriate or not. It is the source of your raw life force, physical power, and vitality—the sentient part of you that reflexively moves away from pain and is drawn toward pleasure. (Location 1218)

The lower self is run primarily by the reptilian brain—the limbic brain and brain stem—that is in charge of your autonomic nervous system and basic body functions, such as sex, eating, and aggression. (Location 1221)

The goal of your lower self is simple: fulfill your desire for pleasure, survive each day, and collect or hoard whatever survival resources you can. (Location 1228)

An essential need of your lower self is to be right; being wrong or losing in battle long ago meant starvation or death. (Location 1234)

When you are making love and feeling physical ecstasy, you are in the lower self. When you are totally irreverent, goofy, alive with passion and joy, spontaneous, genuine, and full of life, this is also the lower self. (Location 1240)

Your Higher Self

Your higher self is capable of transcending your personal ego to see how your individual actions affect all people and the future of humankind. It knows that the highest purpose of your actions is not to exploit or defeat others but to unify and find harmony with them, to become even more than you could be as an individual. (Location 1249)

When your higher self is activated, it guides you to choose your highest potential in love, compassion, peace, and intelligence. It creates community and knows the importance of seeing and supporting humanity as a whole. (Location 1258)

False Self and Defensive Mask (Location 1271)

Note: .h3

The false self is a state of consciousness created by vowing against and rejecting your true nature and deeply polarizing your higher- and lower-self traits. When you reject parts of yourself, the energy that would normally stay in your body is rejected and gets projected out to others as a mask or shield. (Location 1272)

It is what psychologists call your ego ideal. (Location 1275)

Your false self takes an enormous amount of energy to maintain, since you constantly have to prove it is real to the world. (Location 1277)

To understand how your vows create the false self and defensive mask, I invite you to follow a simple guided visualization. (To see a graphic representation of the guided visualization, go here.) (Location 1282)

Guided Visualization (Location 1283)

Note: .h3

Imagine a laser beam of sheer pleasure moving up from the earth and through your legs into your body, filling you with raw, powerful life force. This is the life force of your lower self. Ride this beam of sheer pleasure as it fills you with a deep, primal sense of trust to fully inhabit your body and all of its infinite senses and abilities to experience life through thought, word, and action. As you feel this pure pleasure, let it fill you to your fullest with no regrets. Visualize another laser beam coming down from above your crown as pure starlight, entering your body through the crown of your head. This is the energy current of your higher self. It fills you with pure brilliance and consciousness, awakening you to unique personal qualities as well as your part in the whole of humanity. As the higher-self beam descends and meets your lower self beam at your heart, see the combined beams expand outwardly in all directions, connecting you with the hearts of every other human being. As these two currents flow unimpeded into and through you, you stand fully in your power with the courage to follow your dreams and live an extraordinary life. Now visualize the same process again, only this time you will see how your vows divert the two pleasure currents of life out of the body and into the defensive mask, which is projected out in front of the true self. This leaves you exhausted by life, knowing that joy and pleasure exist but are elusive to you. (Location 1284)

Picture two huge deflector mirrors intersecting the laser beams before they meet and merge in your heart. These deflectors represent your vows in life always or never to be who you really are in aspects of your higher and lower self. The mirrors deflect both of the incoming beams and project a single image outward onto a giant video screen located three feet in front of your body. The distorted image on the screen is your defensive mask that others look at in order to see you—and that you look through to see them, and ultimately, to see yourself. (Location 1295)

Living through your false or defended mask is emotionally draining. (Location 1301)

No Easy Choice (Location 1311)

Note: .h3

Surprisingly, for those who live in their lower self, all of their higher-self qualities still exist; and for those living in their higher self, all of their lower-self qualities still exist. Until the two worlds of the lower self and the higher self come into balance with each other, no one will ever be safe and feel at home in the world. (Location 1327)

CHAPTER 6 Virtual Reality, Negative Pleasures, and Accepting Duality (Location 1335)

Note: .h2

Your Virtual Reality (Location 1346)

Note: .h3

Your projected defensive mask becomes a filter through which you see the world as you think it is, not as it actually is. I call this view a virtual reality, one that exists only in your mind as your impression of life becomes increasingly distorted. (Location 1347)

With your virtual reality goggles on, you see only what is in your head, not what is really around you. You create a life that, like a video game, constantly repeats the same destructive patterns. (Location 1358)

Your virtual reality runs on the same energy current you use to create your life in each moment, but your virtual reality is created from negative memories and fears, not from the infinite universe that is literally at your fingertips. It creates a false self, one living in a false world that exists outside the flow of life and that can never live a purposeful, pleasurable life. (Location 1360)

The ability to dissociate from your life purpose and live in a false hell is universal for all human beings—and unavoidable. It is something we must all go through before we can make the conscious choice required to live from our soul self. We must experience the pain of hell before we can see that heaven has been at our fingertips the entire time. (Location 1367)

Fear and Defense (Location 1370)

Note: .h3

Fear rules your virtual reality like a guard dog whose job is to protect you from the devastation of being rejected. But the guard dog soon becomes the master, and you begin to see all people as possible sources of rejection or attack. You live in fear that they might discover you are not perfect, lovable, nice, or smart. (Location 1370)

Most physical illnesses can be directly correlated to some aspect of the self that has been rejected. (Location 1377)

When you live in a fearful and defended virtual reality, you tend to oscillate between hysterics, dissociation, and the choice of a narrow set of emotions to express all of your life. (Location 1380)

For most of your life, your virtual reality has distorted and hidden your lower self and higher self, and has blocked your core soul self from your awareness. It has done this through sheer fear driven by constantly rehashing negative past events and traumas. (Location 1384)

Integrating Your Shadow (Location 1388)

Note: .h3

The power to attract to you all that you need to fulfill your life purpose comes from integrating the higher- and lower-self qualities you’ve rejected (your shadow). (Location 1389)

Choose any exhausting experience you have in life—in your job, your family, your relationships—and you will find a rejected lower self along with its seemingly conflicting higher self lurking in the shadows. (Location 1391)

LOWER- AND HIGHER-SELF MATCHING TRAITS (Location 1399)

Note: .h3

Liar Brave teller of inconvenient truths Demonic Angel of transformation Narcissistic Balanced in self-love Overbearing Strongly committed Murderous Fearless in fighting for the highest good Pathetic Gentle and kind Stubborn Unbendable in support for others Spineless Flexible Neurotic Infinitely creative Lost Intuitively guided (Location 1400)

The connection between the alpha and omega of your most powerful lower and higher self is the source of the power you need to live your life purpose. (Location 1423)

Positive and Negative Pleasures (Location 1427)

Note: .h3

When you feel a sensation of pleasure flowing freely in your body, it is a calling that moves you toward, not away from, your life purpose. In fact, all of life, when not resisted, is a positive energy current, a pleasure current, that naturally draws you toward the fulfillment of your life purpose. Dealing with any life situation, good or bad, without fear or resistance (letting life flow through you), will lead to the ultimate positive pleasure of being engaged fully with life. This openness to what life offers you allows you to be conscious of being the creator of your life both for personal gain and as a contributing part of humanity. (Location 1428)

The greatest gift the creator has bestowed upon you that sets you apart from all other animals is the ability to choose to consciously create your life in each moment. (Location 1433)

Primary pleasures—such as love, passion, being afraid but taking action anyway, sharing your life with family and friends—are the only things that ever will make you truly happy. Secondary pleasures—such as alcohol, sex, drugs, blaming others, winning, amassing wealth, being better than others—are empty promises, or negative pleasures, that never fulfill, since they are distractions from life, not a path to it. (Location 1437)

The defensive mask was created so you would never have to be hurt by negative events again, and so you would always be good or smart, or at least not seen a dumb. Even though you are lying to the world about who you are, what you want, and what you stand for, the ability to avoid the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune gives you a secret pleasure and a sense of control in a chaotic world. (Location 1451)

The simplest truth you must live by is to feel, not think, your life. In doing so, you follow these two rules: (a) Do what you know you should do and are called to do from deep inside, no matter how hard it is for you, and (b) Don’t do what you know in your heart you shouldn’t do but are doing. (Location 1456)

The key is choosing to create a life that is congruent with reality. (Location 1471)

When you can feel your life force energy gushing through you, there is no separation between you and life itself. This is living in your core. (Location 1475)

Only if your life force is allowed to course through you in both positive and negative currents are you able to comprehend how the entire universe is constantly supporting you in living your life purpose. (Location 1480)

Rewards of Negative Pleasure (Location 1492)

Note: .h3

Whatever you do to maintain the illusion of not being responsible for your actions is a negative pleasure. This includes controlling, blaming, avoiding, not forgiving, and resenting others, because when you do these things, you get a reward, or payback, which is not having to be responsible yourself. But when you live in your core, you take full responsibility for every choice you have ever made, apologizing to anyone you have judged or hurt. To live in your core soul self means never having an excuse or blaming anyone for who you are or what you do. It demands that you embrace the world as it is, and as it has been, with love and forgiveness. (Location 1493)

Your defenses—your vows, mask, virtual reality, and negative pleasures—cause you to resist life rather than flow with it. (Location 1507)

You can see that every time a vow diverts more of your energy into your defenses, the result is painful for everyone. But even though it is painful, you feel a sense of pleasure from being the “right one” or the “good one,” or you get negative pleasure from being the broken or sick one who is then special and privileged and can get out of doing what you don’t want to do. Either way, you enjoy a moment when you get to avoid responsibility for your actions, and, in a strange but understandable way, that is pleasurable. (Location 1512)

The Thinker defense (part of the Creative Idealist) leaves or dissociates and has the negative pleasure/illusion of being above the human condition, living more in the mind or in the spirit world. The Enforcer-Seducer defense (part of the Charismatic Leader–Charmer) has the negative pleasure of never trusting other people and battling with them or manipulating them to gain control rather than trust. The People Pleaser defense (part of the Team Player) has the negative pleasure of being self-sacrificing, making him or her self-righteous and resentful of the self-centered “takers” in the world. The Poor Me defense (part of the Emotional Intelligence Specialist) has the negative pleasure of using his or her sensitivity as a reason to play victim, justifying endless complaining and manipulation in relationships and never owning power in life. The Rule Keeper (part of the Knowledgeable Achiever) has the negative pleasure of a harsh inner self-discipline that justifies aloofness and being critical of the self and others for their imperfections. (Location 1517)

Take Back Your Power (Location 1529)

Note: .h3

We all must choose between living in the positive pleasure of our life purpose and being who we truly are, or living in the negative pleasure of our virtual reality and defensive mask, negating the very flow of life. Positive pleasure comes from being part of a universe that is forever expanding, creating new life in each moment. Negative pleasure flips the flow of life and creates feelings that are convenient to your personal needs only. (Location 1530)

Your core soul quality is your greatest pleasure in life, but to be in it, you must accept all of who you are, including the vows that drain your energy into your defense. (Location 1538)

The only true cure for the delusion and suffering of humankind is, as the ancient Greek sage Socrates taught, to Know thyself. Knowing who you are as a soul self is the answer to resolving all of your suffering in life. (Location 1546)

When you increasingly embrace both your lower-self and your higher-self traits, you no longer look for your life purpose—you become your life purpose. (Location 1548)

Note: .c1

Whatever appears, even if you have no idea why, you trust for your highest good and you don’t resist. (Location 1550)

Note: .c2

You cannot truly live in your higher self—in love, compassion, and selflessness—without the equal potential to live in your lower self—hate, cruelty, and selfishness. This will be hard to accept at first. (Location 1565)

The path to spiritual maturity is one of learning how to hold seeming opposites—your higher and lower self—as equal. (Location 1570)

Accepting Duality (Location 1575)

Note: .h3

The full emergence of your core soul self requires that you accept the duality of your human nature and come into balance with all aspects of yourself. Such acceptance makes you whole and gives you inner peace; only when you accept all of yourself can you choose and act consciously in the world. (Location 1576)

In the East, this energetic balance point is represented by the yin/yang symbol, showing how human duality exists in balance as dark and light, lower and higher self, feminine and masculine. (Location 1578)

The expression you then choose for your life purpose is unique to who you are, coming through your art, dance, play, yoga, martial arts, competition, communication, relationships, business, or a billion other expressions of human activity. But the expression you choose matters less than how conscious you are of the two poles—your dark and light, your yin and yang—making up who you are. (Location 1586)

Your life purpose is not something that has happened in your past, or something you hope will happen in your future, or something you can write into a mission statement. Rather, it is something you can train for. (Location 1603)

PART III Live Your Truth: The Life Purpose Profile Program (Location 1622)

Note: .h1

Extraordinary Power Process: Feel, Choose, Act (Location 1656)

Note: .h3

Feel, Choose, Act is the process through which you can engage your profile and, at the same time, learn to bring the process into your everyday life. (Location 1657)

FEEL by doing the inner work to feel, not think, who you are. (Location 1662)

The hallmark of this kind of inner work is a moment of self-acceptance that is felt, not thought. (Location 1664)

Note: .c2

CHOOSE by making conscious choices based on your felt awareness, not your vows. (Location 1667)

Note: .c1

In each moment, you can choose your future. The goal is to pay attention to the guidance of your core soul qualities, developing a “soul muscle” of expressing your truth in the world. (Location 1670)

Note: .c2

Note: .c1

It is through your conscious choice and aligned actions that who you are and what you do become one and the same, accelerating your ability to accomplish your most desired goals and purpose. (Location 1676)

Note: .c2

With daily practice, feel, choose, and act become your default mode in life, replacing the knee-jerk programming of your vows that has been in charge up until now. (Location 1679)

CHAPTER 7 Profile #1: Creative Idealist/Thinker (Location 1685)

Note: .h2

CREATIVE IDEALISTS WE ALL KNOW (Location 1691)

Note: .h3

Historical: Galileo, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Thomas Edison, Carl Jung, B. F. Skinner, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Antoni Gaudi (Location 1692)

Contemporary: Bruce Lipton, Kaley Cuoco, Jim Henson, Goldie Hawn, Eckhart Tolle, Yoko Ono, Stephen Hawking, Isaac Asimov, and Rupert Sheldrake (Location 1693)

Step 1: Align with Your Profile (Location 1695)

Note: .h3

GENERAL DESCRIPTION. (Location 1701)

Note: .h3

As a Creative Idealist, you are highly active mentally. (Location 1701)

Creative Idealists are also at the cutting edge of higher learning, often studying, teaching, and doing research in mathematics, science, or the arts. Because you love to study and think so deeply, life is often more of a research project than an interconnected, visceral event. (Location 1706)

Creative Idealists are entertaining and can speak intelligently on many subjects. (Location 1710)

THINKER DEFENSE, (Location 1713)

Note: .h3

you become trapped in self-sabotaging patterns of behavior, such as when your overactive mind is scattered, disorganized, fearful, and dissociated. Such a high degree of mental activity can be isolating, and it distances you from other people and from your deeper feelings. (Location 1713)

You spend so much time thinking and rethinking your options that you live in a state of paralysis, endlessly analyzing the possible outcomes of major decisions. (Location 1715)

Convincing others can be frustrating and exhausting because you don’t have the people skills required for smooth transactions. (Location 1719)

You have a primal fear of violence and avoid aggression or even simple disagreements at all costs. (Location 1721)

The simplest angry words can trigger your fight-or-flight response, and since fighting is not an option, you run or disappear as quickly as you can. (Location 1723)

The Thinker defense typically takes the form of either the spiritual seeker or the scientist/engineer type. (Location 1724)

AS A SPIRITUAL SEEKER, you frequent New Age bookstores and attend metaphysical classes and workshops, becoming absorbed in finding solutions to personal or societal problems. (Location 1727)

As a spiritual seeker, you have ideas about everything other than how to earn enough money, and you may become a proponent of various conspiracy theories. You can become a loner, feeling married to spirit and never seeing the value of marrying an actual person. (Location 1731)

AS A SCIENTIST/ENGINEER, you love research and theoretical knowledge, often finding employment in the fields of math, the sciences, or computers. (Location 1733)

You can explain endlessly what you know about your field, regardless of whether anyone is truly listening to you. (Location 1735)

If you have a mate, you may be more married to your work and ideas than to him or her and wonder why your mate complains so frequently that you are “unavailable.” (Location 1740)

If you meet a person who shares your same creative vision, you may bond with or marry that person, but the unifying element is your shared beliefs, not your physical or romantic interactions. (Location 1741)

Creative Idealists are more likely to enter into romantic relationships through their secondary profile, not their primary one. In all the other profiles, people need to experience intimate relationships in order to fully awaken to their deepest life purpose, but for Creative Idealists, that is not the case. They come into their life purpose through their ideas and creativity. Relationships are then a secondary part of their life purpose and must be worked through in order for their brilliant ideas to land in the minds and lives of others. (Location 1744)

People may label you a “space case,” and not grounded, or you speak over the heads of most people with ideas and theories that can boggle the mind or float right by the average person. (Location 1749)

Living more in your mind than body, you create a world where structure and material gain tend to be off your radar. (Location 1751)

In defense as the Thinker, you may have difficulty sustaining the focus and energy needed to stay on a job or to find those people who want what you’ve created. (Location 1757)

Not wanting to be pinned down, you choose jobs that don’t last; or you may stay in a job you don’t like for years, so that you get left alone and can work at your own pace. You have side projects that give you energy, such as writing or art or inventing, but since you can’t figure out how to turn your projects into a source of income, you are frustrated and have to hide what you are doing from your employer. (Location 1758)

As a Creative Idealist, you will not negotiate well at work for money, spending what you do have on pie-in-the-sky kinds of investments, and you rarely know how much you have in the bank at any given time. (Location 1762)

You are best off sticking to what you are good at, which is creative ideas that other, less creative people will pay you well for. (Location 1764)

Your Creative Idealist body tends to be tall and thin, reflecting how your energy runs quickly up into your head and out. You appear light on your feet and, even if overweight, don’t convey a sense of heaviness or of taking up any space, supporting your preference to be invisible. (Location 1767)

In your core, you have a brilliance and sparkle in your eyes, head, and words, and you are playfully free in your actions. (Location 1769)

If you are athletic, you will likely excel in solitary sports such as jogging/running, skiing, tennis, hiking, walking, swimming, and skate boarding. In these activities, you can let go while your mind wanders, the activity alone holding you physically in place. You can get very good at these kinds of long-distance, aerobic sports that allow for your thinking to exist simultaneously with your performance. (Location 1771)

In defense, your energy can be blocked at the base of your skull and your head tilted during conversation, as if you were deep in thought. This head tilt disconnects your head from your body energetically and keeps you dissociated from your feeling centers. Because of your defense, the muscles of your legs, torso, and neck are often rigid and not highly coordinated. (Location 1774)

Your fear of being fully present can create energetic splits in your body. One part of your body may seem full and robust, and the other may seem empty and weak. You may have a strong asymmetry in your face, or a right side/left side imbalance, (Location 1777)

Note: .c1

You often have visible scoliosis or an obvious twist in your spine, (Location 1779)

Note: .c2

Embracing Your Core Soul Qualities (Location 1819)

Note: .h3

In your highest potential, you attain the level of a mystic, a genius, or a saint, or you become a transformative thinker, like an Einstein, Galileo, or Edison. (Location 1822)

Spiritually, you have a direct link to dimensions beyond those normally available and can openly channel information from there into the present moment. This makes you a great channel, intuitive, and psychic. You bring forth art, music, scientific discoveries, and new products never before seen, to transform the consciousness of others and awaken within them new possibilities. (Location 1823)

Creative Idealists are geniuses in seeing the world and universe symbolically, and when in community, you find creative ways to help the rest of the world understand your vision. Whether in words, mathematical symbols, the visual arts, or science, Creative Idealists have the life purpose of enlightening and awakening others. (Location 1826)

YOUR GIFT TO THE WORLD is your ability to stand firm in your truth and not be swayed by the general consensus of current-day thinking. You are connected to the realm of infinite possibility and so can offer others the cure to their mental or spiritual stagnation. (Location 1828)

CORE SOUL QUALITIES OF THE CREATIVE IDEALIST (Location 1832)

Note: .h3

A creative and dynamic mind in a constant state of expansion—the quality of genius A mystic, artist, and creative (“mad”) scientist, tapping into the realm of the infinite to bring through wisdom for healing and elevating consciousness Transcendent; able to hold both spiritual and material realms Playful and irreverent, seeing the world afresh as if with the eyes of a small child (Location 1833)

Extraordinary Power Process: Align with Your Profile Qualities (Location 1838)

Note: .h3

When you increasingly embrace both your lower-self and your higher-self traits, you no longer look for your life purpose—you become your life purpose. ... Whatever appears, even if you have no idea why, you trust for your highest good and you don’t resist. ... The hallmark of this kind of inner work is a moment of self-acceptance that is felt, not thought. (Location 1548)

CHOOSE by making conscious choices based on your felt awareness, not your vows. ... In each moment, you can choose your future. The goal is to pay attention to the guidance of your core soul qualities, developing a “soul muscle” of expressing your truth in the world. (Location 1667)

ACT in alignment with your conscious choices to be fully living your life purpose. Once you have decided that joy is better than suffering, you must take action and commit to new behaviors that express more of your truth. ... It is through your conscious choice and aligned actions that who you are and what you do become one and the same, accelerating your ability to accomplish your most desired goals and purpose. (Location 1672)

CORE SOUL QUALITIES OF THE…

Extraordinary Power Process: Align with Your…

FEEL: DO THE INNER FEELING WORK by identifying with those core soul qualities and defensive patterns that you feel most deeply. Then choose a few to work with that are the strongest. Write in your journal about what it is like to experience those qualities or patterns in your life. Think of a specific situation—for example, at work, in your relationships, in your general health and well-being—and ask yourself the following questions about what it’s like to be in your core or in your defense: How do I feel—physically, emotionally, and energetically? What am I saying to myself and to others? What am I attracting to myself? What am I rejecting or avoiding? As… (Location 1841)

CHOOSE: Make conscious choices to create your future, no longer living in the self-sabotaging, knee-jerk reality of your defense. Select one core soul quality you felt the deepest from the reading. Sit quietly and visualize living in that core quality right now. How does it change your relationships, career, health, and finances? Project your life out one, five, and ten years into the future, and explore the same question. Write about your vision in your journal. Then… (Location 1849)

ACT: Align your actions in your career, relationships, health, or finances. Ask: What would my Creative Idealist do in this area or situation? How… (Location 1853)

REPEAT THIS PROCESS and continue to feel, choose, and act in this way as you discover more and more about your… (Location 1857)

Step 2: Recognize Your Defenses

CORE WOUNDS OF THE CREATIVE IDEALIST/THINKER

Birth trauma during or after delivery Early separation from your mother due to birth complications or adoption procedures Exposure early in life to noise, harsh elements, or chaotic environments Aloofness or coldness by your mother to your needs as a young child Hostile parents/caretakers dealing with personal issues that took focus away from your needs for security Being left alone and rarely held, denying you a sense of physical connection Aggressive or violent parents, or other people, during childhood and throughout your life (Location 1935)

Another vow-driven belief of Creative Idealists is that the spirit world is more real than the physical world. The belief that life is an illusion becomes your safety in the face of an aggressive, chaotic world. When nothing occurs as real in the world, a desire to establish yourself in a grounded way will not be a priority in your life. (Location 1942)

TYPICAL VOW STATEMENTS OF THE THINKER

I vow always to live in peace and never be as crazy or angry (as my father/mother). I vow never to be attached to people or things but to be a bohemian free spirit. I vow always to live through my art or science, which lets me express my true self. I vow never to share my thoughts and to stay invisible in groups because no one sees life the way I do. I vow always to engage only in intellectual arguments, never expressing real conflict. I vow always to live in my interior world of thoughts and fantasies rather than in the reality of relationships. I vow always to see myself and all others as spiritual beings, never dealing with physical issues. I vow always to stay hidden and out of the reach of people and a world that is dangerous, manipulative, and violent. I vow always to keep what I see to myself, since others will think I’m crazy if I tell them. I vow always to leave my body whenever threatened with the pain of being hit, yelled at, or negated. (Location 1953)

Extraordinary Power Process: Release Your Vows

FEEL: Choose those Vow Statements from the list that resonate most strongly for you. Mark them and add any of your own to the list. Then select one or more statements to work with in completing the following sentences: A vow I made was always/never to ... How this vow is influencing my life right now: ... My self-talk that reinforces this vow: (Location 1967)

CHOOSE: Look at the Vow Statements you marked and, taking one at a time, ask yourself: What would my life be like if I stopped honoring that vow? Project out one, five, and ten years from now and ask: How would not honoring that vow change my life? Write your answers in your journal. (Location 1976)

ACT: What action could you take to support your choice to no longer honor your vow? Decide to act based on your conscious choice, not a vow. Write in your journal about what happened when you did. (Location 1981)

Freedom Statements (Location 1989)

Replace your Vow Statements with Freedom Statements, (Location 1989)

Use Freedom Statements as a bridge out of defense and onto the path of your truth. (Location 1992)

FREEDOM STATEMENTS FOR THE CREATIVE IDEALIST

I am open to letting go of my fears and trusting my gut feelings. I am open to being a creative genius in all my actions as well as my thoughts. I am open to being playful and enthusiastic. I am open to the idea that I have a unique genius, never before seen on this planet. I am open to the idea that my creative expressions will be accepted by many. I am open to being totally free to think and share my genius with people. I am open to being a creative channel to potentially transform a world stuck in the past and in limited patterns. (Location 1995)

Extraordinary Power Process: Become Free of Your Vows

FEEL: Read the list of Freedom Statements above, speaking each one aloud. Let yourself feel their truth as you sit quietly after speaking them. (Location 2008)

CHOOSE: Speak your Freedom Statements out loud as often as possible to bring conscious choice to your vow-driven, knee-jerk defensive reactions. (Location 2011)

ACT: Explore how you would act differently in key areas of your life if your vows were replaced by Freedom Statements. Choose one action you can take that aligns you with the truth of your Freedom Statement, not your vow, and do it! (Location 2014)

REPEAT THE PROCESS of feel, choose, and act often when dealing with your life’s challenges. (Location 2016)

Your Negative Pleasures

Excessive computer gaming, Internet surfing, meditation, spiritual practice, writing a never-ending book, thinking up pie-in-the-sky business plans, and recreational drug use (especially marijuana) are a few negative pleasures in the Thinker defense. (Location 2033)

TYPICAL NEGATIVE PLEASURES OF THE THINKER

Being spiritually immune and detached from pain and suffering in the world Having a rich fantasy life that substitutes for reality Having computer addictions such as Facebook, games, e-mailing, and so on, that substitute for relationships and end up keeping you isolated Relying on psychic skills and visions to make your choices Judging the “idiots” in the world who have “no idea what they are doing!” Pointing out how bad the state of the world is and feeling justified in taking no action to change things because the situation seems hopeless Marrying yourself to your studies, research, writing, or poetry rather than a person Covering a variety of topics in any conversation, talking over people’s heads, and outpacing and impressing those who are listening Entertaining yourself and others with your ideas about how to save the world but blaming politicians and corporations for why you can’t do anything Smoking pot or taking opiates because you believe you do your greatest thinking in that state (Location 2038)

Extraordinary Power Process: Diminish Your Negative Pleasures

FEEL: As you read the list of negative pleasures for the Thinker defense, let yourself feel which ones resonate deeply with you. Mark those and write them in your journal. (Location 2054)

CHOOSE: Choose one negative pleasure that you identified and are willing to let go of. (Location 2055)

ACT: Once you’ve chosen a negative pleasure you are ready to let go of, the next time that behavior comes up in your life you can ask yourself: What positive pleasure am I missing as I indulge this negative one? How would my Creative Idealist respond in this situation? Then take action in accordance with your answer. (Location 2068)

Recommended Reading List A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn The Seat of the Soul, by Gary Zukav The Dancing Wu Li Masters, by Gary Zukav Zen in the Art of Archery, by Eugen Herrigel Care of the Soul, by Thomas Moore How to Know God, by Deepak Chopra (Location 2094)

Tags: i

Note: .i

Step 3: Live Your Life Purpose

LOWER- AND HIGHER-SELF TRAITS FOR CREATIVE IDEALISTS

Extraordinary Power Process: Integrate Your Shadow

CHOOSE: Now work with one matched pair of lower- and higher-self traits you identified that you are not owning in their full range. ... Visualize your life up until now and see how damaging it has been to express the lower-self trait unconsciously. ... don’t, since the lower-self trait cannot be resolved. Now project out this pattern of behavior one, five, and ten years into the future and see what your life looks like with just this one conflict within you. (Location 2158)

ACT: Take actions that align with your new state of inner-balance wholeness. Commit to one action you will take that reflects your new self-acceptance, and then do it. Write in your journal about what happened when you did. (Location 2168)

Living Courageously

Living your life purpose means speaking and acting fearlessly from your core soul self. To remain in that state, you will need to step out of your comfort zone often and take the road less traveled, leaping courageously over obstacles in your way. (Location 2175)

Embrace the innate fear you have of human relationships. You self-isolate or distract yourself to avoid feeling fear, but only when you embrace your fear can you come into your full power. (Location 2178)

Accept your calling to help awaken the unconscious masses. (Location 2181)

Awaken to your feelings. Your fear of being here on planet earth or your analytical scientific approach to life has blocked your ability to feel your body and the life flowing through you. You tend to feel through thinking and can tell when a great idea is coming. To then relate that great idea to life, you must be able to feel it within you. When both the thought and the feeling are present in you, you become a humanitarian like Einstein and fully enjoy both worlds, mind and body. (Location 2185)

ESSENTIAL WORDS FOR CREATIVE IDEALISTS TO SPEAK

I love you but know that sometimes I may be afraid of you. If any confrontation happens, I may abandon you and myself. This is the moment of my greatest need, so please hold space for me. I will be back. Each time I leave, and you do not attack me for leaving, my faith in humanity and in our love is renewed. (Location 2197)

The Law of Attraction

Looking in areas of life such as health, relationships, finances, and career, inquire about the following: What am I attracting in my life right now from living in my defenses? What do I want to attract in my life from living in my core soul self? (Location 2217)

Are you attracting what supports your life purpose or what keeps you stuck in your defense? How can you act from your core soul qualities and not your defenses to close that gap and attract what you want? Write your responses in your journal. (Location 2220)

Extraordinary Power Process: Your Personal Profile Summary Chart

Once you have completed your charts for both primary and secondary profiles, use them as a tool to support you in living your life purpose. Follow the Extraordinary Power Process of feel, choose, and act as you refer to each section you’ve filled in on your chart: Feel: Do the inner feeling work—don’t just think. Choose: Make conscious choices—don’t automatically react based on your vows. Act: Align your actions with your profile’s core soul qualities—not with your defenses—to live your truth. (Location 2225)

BIOENERGETIC EXERCISES FOR THE CREATIVE IDEALIST

The following bioenergetic exercises will help you to come into your body more as you align with and manifest your life purpose. (Location 2244)

EXERCISE #1: FORWARD FLOP AND BOW. In this two-part exercise, make sure you keep your legs slightly bent and eyes open throughout both parts. PART 1: FORWARD FLOP. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and gently bend forward as far as you can go. Your arms and head should hang loose. Slowly pump your legs to create a vibration in them. Then roll up, one vertebra at a time, until you are standing upright. PART 2: BOW. Begin to bend backward, supporting your lower back with your hands or fists. Arch backward as much as you can and keep your eyes down on the floor. The goal is to stay in this position until there is involuntary shaking. Alternate between the Forward Flop and the Bow until you can stand up and still maintain the involuntary shaking while standing or walking. It may take a few months of loosening yourself up in this way to open to a full-body shake. (Location 2245)

EXERCISE #2: STOMPING YOUR FEET. In this exercise, stand barefoot on the ground if possible and gently stomp your feet. Then stomp harder. As you build up heat in your legs, say out loud, “This is where I will make a difference in the world,” “I love to be here and be creative!” (Location 2255)

EXERCISE #3: PLEASURE. In this exercise, pick anything you already do that you really enjoy and slow it down until you feel what you are doing, not just thinking it. Eat ice cream slowly and make appreciative noises as you do. Pick one thing a day that you are going to double the time it takes you to do it, just so you can feel the pleasure in what you are doing. (Location 2257)

CHAPTER 8 Profile #2: Emotional Intelligence Specialist/Poor Me

PART IV The Profiles and Relationship Mastery

CHAPTER 12 Relationship Magnets: Soul Mates, Friends, and Co-workers

Relationship Magnets

no relationship comes into your life randomly. Every person who is in an important position in your life plays a part in helping you discover your life purpose. (Location 4743)

SOUL MATE RELATIONSHIP MAGNETS

Creative Idealist/Thinker Their own ideas and genius Knowledgeable Achiever/Rule Keeper Emotional Intelligence Specialist/Poor Me Charismatic Leader–Charmer/Enforcer-Seducer Team Player/People Pleaser (Location 4761)

Creative Idealist/Thinkers find their soul mate through their own mind and genius. Often Thinkers will have a stronger relationship to their scientific studies, music, art, religion, or spirituality than with any other person. (Location 4769)

While all five profiles can be combined and can learn from each other, there are only two basic soul mate combinations: Knowledgeable Achiever with the Emotional Intelligence Specialist and Charismatic Leader–Charmer with the Team Player. (Location 4774)

Because the objective of all soul mate relationships is full balance and conscious awareness, your partner must hold whatever you don’t have ready access to yourself. This includes both the good and the bad, and you must learn to love and appreciate the full range in them, and subsequently in yourself, in order to awaken from your unconscious defense and isolation. (Location 4776)

when a person lives mostly in unconscious defense, he or she will be attracted to another person with the same level of unconscious defense. The ensuing battle between the two can create so much pain that the individuals begin to examine their own culpability in the struggle. But such self-inquiry is never guaranteed. For the deeply unconscious, these conflicts can drive them further into defense, dooming them to repeat it in many relationships throughout their lifetime. (Location 4784)

Couple #1: Rule Keeper/Poor Me Soul Mates

The Rule Keeper is strong, energized, organized, and rigid in his approach to life; he is often successful, serious, disciplined, aloof, and critical. He may be a business owner or manager or a specialist in some field, and he likes to be the knight in shining armor, saving mankind through his ingenuity. He tends to be a know-it-all and a doer, and is usually dissociated from his heart and deeper feelings to show little emotion. (Location 4796)

The Poor Me, whose energy often runs low and needs organization, wears her heart on her sleeve. She is overly sensitive and often feels the need to be saved from overwhelming situations. She may be in a mess financially or be a substance abuser to block her deeper emotions and wounds. (Location 4799)

These two profile defenses find each other and try to fix each other. The Poor Me hopes that her knight will someday fall headlong in love with her and accept that her feelings are real even if they seem irrational. The Rule Keeper, believing he can fix anything, hopes that this sweet little Poor Me person can get her act together through his help so she learns to stand on her own. (Location 4801)

Conscious Soul Mate Combinations

At their core, relationships teach you to let go of your defense. The beginning of a true soul mate relationship starts when you let down your virtual reality defense and freely express your core soul qualities within your relationship. (Location 4818)

Couple #3: Knowledgeable Achiever/Emotional Intelligence Specialist Soul Mates

As the Rule Keeper defense meets the core soul quality of the Emotional Intelligence Specialist in his partner, he is able to see that she loves him for his heart and not for what he does in the world. She sees the heart of the Tin Man, forgives his criticism of her, and teaches him the ways of the heart. This shift allows him to let go of self-criticism and to know that love really exists. (Location 4828)

Each person needs the other to reveal the secrets of the universe that neither could see on his or her own. (Location 4833)

Social Relationship Magnets

Look in the left column of the chart for your primary and secondary defensive profiles, and then go across to the right column to see which profiles you will tend to attract as friends. Those are the relationships that will tend to enable your defense rather than challenge it. (Location 4861)

FRIEND AND CO-WORKER DEFENSE MAGNETS

Thinker Thinker Rule Keeper People Pleaser Rule Keeper Rule Keeper Thinker People Pleaser Poor Me Poor Me People Pleaser People Pleaser People Pleaser Poor Me Thinker Rule Keeper Enforcer-Seducer Enforcer-Seducer People Pleaser (Location 4867)

Let Your Soul Shine Through

qualities are your truth, and your defenses are a lie. Whatever you decide to express in the world is a magnet for others who are at that same level of consciousness. (Location 4899)

As a human being, your deepest desire is to be seen by others for the perfection, love, and beauty that lie in the center of your soul. Your second deepest desire is to see and connect fully to the soul of those with whom you are in a relationship so together you can consciously support each other on your life purpose journeys. (Location 4902)

If you build relationships that support you to be you, and that also remind you when you are in defense, then you will have the best chance of enjoying your life. (Location 4907)

CHAPTER 11 Profile #5: Knowledgeable Achiever/Rule Keeper (Location 4082)

Note: .h2

Step 1: Align with Your Profile (Location 4092)

Note: .h3

About Your Profile (Location 4095)

Note: .h4

As a Knowledgeable Achiever, you are highly driven, strongly self-disciplined, and well organized. You exhibit mastery and intelligent action on the way to accomplishing any task or project, knowing what to do and how to do it. You also have an ability to see the… (Location 4099)

You have the mental discipline to master a martial art, climb the highest mountains, map the most treacherous terrain, and use mathematics to ensure a… (Location 4104)

Everything you do is practical and useful to others, as well as graceful. You are relentlessly thorough, whether you are spending time with… (Location 4105)

It’s not unusual for you to be more knowledgeable than those considered experts in their field, and you often leave a workshop or seminar thinking, Those teachers don’t understand what… (Location 4108)

IN RULE KEEPER DEFENSE, you live by the belief What I do is who I am. Your focus is on doing at the expense of being. Even in defense you are hardworking and effective in the world, but you also become rigid and machinelike, often… (Location 4110)

Emotions are rarely expressed publicly. You understand the world mentally but don’t need to feel it like others do. You can be cool under pressure but at the cost of not being in touch with your emotions. Feelings… (Location 4113)

The Tin Man character in The Wizard of Oz is an example of a Rule Keeper—all… (Location 4116)

Life in Rule Keeper defense is all work. You know that if you practice a sport every day, lift weights every other day, and take a lesson twice a week, you could become a national champion in less than five years. So often, in defense, the fun of the game is lost to the rules of achievement. Playing and freedom have fallen to the wayside, while self-improvement and work rule the day.… (Location 4117)

Your list of achievement-oriented activities, rigidly followed, only leads to more of the same, never to any real happiness or satisfaction because you can never stop; you must always do better. In everything you do, your inner voice is a ruthless tyrant that gives… (Location 4120)

You are a terminal perfectionist and have little tolerance for flaws or failure on any level. This intolerance is expressed through criticism, judgment, and disappointment in yourself and others. In the Rule Keeper defense, you will often feel disappointed in yourself, no matter how “good” you perceive your life to be. You strive to achieve your ideal, whether as the perfect mother, business owner, or volunteer for a favorite charity. You work diligently to be the best at whatever you do, always aiming to appear independent and self-sufficient. In defense, your self-sabotaging patterns revolve around being highly self-critical, never feeling that you have done enough—even if you are at the top of your field. You hold a personal bar just out of your own reach but strive for it daily. You tend to organize your… (Location 4123)

When you are in defense, perfection is the only thing you will be happy with, so you are left disappointed in… (Location 4132)

You tend to judge and see the world impersonally, in black or white, good or bad, right… (Location 4133)

PRIMARY MATE AND SOCIAL… (Location 4137)

Knowledgeable Achievers often find themselves romantically paired with the Emotional Intelligence Specialists/Poor Me as a primary mate. Undefended, the two profiles are a match made in heaven. From the Emotional Intelligence Specialist, you learn how to open your heart; you teach the Emotional Intelligence Specialist how to set boundaries and safely enjoy the core gifts of their sensitive nature. You see the value of your partner’s ability to live with an open heart and feel unconditionally accepted and loved by him or her.… (Location 4137)

As a Rule Keeper, there is little room for passion or adventure in your strict home environment, so you may take your passions outside the home in the form of an extramarital affair or drinking and using drugs on business trips. Inside the home, however, you will lecture your spouse and other family members on the dangers of having multiple sexual partners and on the evils of alcohol and drugs. (Location 4153)

CAREER OR JOB. (Location 4156)

Achievement and perfection are ingrained aspects of your defense, and you create your identity based on what you do. (Location 4157)

Whatever your profession, you always try to make life fit your profession, limiting the true bounty you could be receiving if you opened to the flow of life. (Location 4159)

In Rule Keeper defense, you easily get stuck in doing the same thing over and over again, believing that there is only one right way of doing things. (Location 4162)

When you are out of defense, aligned with your life purpose and living from your core, your intuition and gut instinct win over your rigid inner Rule Keeper. In this state, you are open to the realm of infinite possibilities and see everything in your life as a resource to be integrated into a grand plan. (Location 4164)

You treat people who work under you not as employees only but as partners in your greater purpose, avoiding the bottom-line, get-it-done-yesterday style of management. (Location 4166)

You are capable of working twenty-four hours a day when you choose to, but you are also just as likely to work the perfect nine-to-five workday and take regular vacations, since you are efficient and get your work done quickly. Yoga and meditation may become a part of your general approach to life, not just as a means of de-stressing after your work. (Location 4168)

HOW YOU HANDLE MONEY. (Location 4171)

Knowledgeable Achievers have high integrity around money and are diligent in assessing what they can afford and what is a gamble, doing some of each. You are an excellent long-term planner and can see the value of using money to make money. You invest in both your vision and your understanding of the market forces. You know that knowledge is the most important commodity in the world, and so you keep your own knowledge current. (Location 4171)

Knowledgeable Achievers are known as the highest achievers in the world, pooling and managing massive resources and money with precision and elegance. (Location 4174)

In Rule Keeper defense, you may be a penny pincher and live an austere life with a tight budget and limited way of seeing how to make money or value your work. (Location 4177)

PHYSICAL AND ENERGETIC CONDITION. (Location 4179)

You keep your body fit and often push it to its limits when training or exercising. You usually look younger than you are and have a strong and lean body. You are generally well coordinated, hold your head up, and sit up straight, making the statement that you have everything under control. (Location 4179)

In Rule Keeper defense, you view your body as a performance machine to be pushed to the extreme, which can become unhealthy. For example, you might work at your job eighty hours a week, work out on a StairMaster in your office, train and compete in five triathlons a year, and then force your four-year-old to do martial arts. You can have chronic lower-back stiffness and hip and knee problems, caused by muscle tension from striving to be perfect. (Location 4182)

You may have heart problems, but, more often, your health issues come from your stiff and rigid muscles, stopping the natural flow of energy and creating an imbalance in your body. (Location 4185)

On an energetic level, your heart is protected by a three-foot-thick cement wall, a comfort zone to buffer you against any emotional pain. When a person stands too close to you, you get uncomfortable and move away. You tend to turn your energy inward and rarely project it out, requiring enormous discipline to stay so contained because energy, by its nature, flows outward into the world. You become an island unto yourself, trapped inside your self-made prison of protection. (Location 4187)

Embracing Your Core Soul Qualities (Location 4230)

Note: .h4

As a Knowledgeable Achiever, your core soul qualities are mastery and intelligence. Your mission in life is to bring awareness, order, and unity to whatever endeavors you engage in for the purpose of benefiting all of humankind. (Location 4231)

When you release your strict drive for perfection, you find that what your soul truly loves is mastery. Mastery happens when you let go of all control and see how everything has perfection, even in chaos. You let go of the Rule Keeper’s constant striving and expectations that never match reality, clearly see what you can do to influence others, and take full responsibility for that. As this shifts, your experience goes from… (Location 4233)

You realize that your gift of being able to achieve and manifest has the higher purpose of awakening others to a broader perspective of life. You relate to people in their… (Location 4236)

By getting in touch with the more delicate needs of your heart and feelings, you awaken a passion and love, and find that your heart longs… (Location 4240)

Being vulnerable and open to the gentle universal heart that holds all of creation together, you see that you have a soul that is perfect. In Rule Keeper defense, you try to be perfect in action to justify your existence and block any feelings that don’t support your actions, but in… (Location 4242)

Once you are connected to your more subtle feelings, you bring a compassionate worldview to previously empty achievement-oriented tasks. You let go of your drill sergeant ways and enjoy being as much as doing. Your life becomes playful and balanced. You inspire others with your incredible knowledge and achievement and raise the bar by showing them their potential. By releasing your strict self-boundaries and self-criticism, you free energy frozen at the core of your being. When this… (Location 4244)

By getting in touch with your true feelings, you can honor others’ feelings and paths with an equal level of enthusiasm. As you do this, you connect to your true mission, which is to lead others to all they can be by giving them direction and confidence. That confidence comes from knowing who you are at your core. You are deeply… (Location 4249)

YOUR GIFT TO THE WORLD is your ability to see the big picture and influence others in a positive way through your speaking, writing, and action. You are the one who shows the laborer that he is… (Location 4255)

In leadership positions, you see the oneness of humanity, and therefore never belittle or judge the importance of any one individual. You see the importance and interrelatedness of each of the cells in a complex organism, knowing it is only as strong as its weakest cells. You accept how… (Location 4257)

Knowledgeable Achievers are sages in training, ultimately becoming the wise masters we go to when we… (Location 4259)

You live your life discovering what works best for yourself and for others… (Location 4261)

Only when the Knowledgeable Achiever realizes that we are all here to love and have compassion can their true gift be revealed (thus their attraction to the… (Location 4263)

You clearly see the devastating path that humans are on and do all you can to steer that careening oil… (Location 4265)

CORE SOUL QUALITIES OF THE… (Location 4267)

Note: .h4

Holder of the big picture for humanity Wise teacher, sage in training, the Zen Master Natural authority with benevolent king or queen energy Mental brilliance and ability to execute your plans Impeccable in word and deed Loves mastery, becoming an expert in physical and mental disciplines Internally disciplined, externally graceful… (Location 4268)

Extraordinary Power Process: Align with Your… (Location 4274)

Note: .h4

Step 2: Recognize Your Defenses (Location 4309)

Note: .h3

Becoming Aware of Your Vows (Location 4358)

Note: .h4

CORE WOUNDS OF THE KNOWLEDGEABLE ACHIEVER (Location 4367)

Note: .h4

Receiving love and attention only when you were good or perfect Having an alcoholic or ill parent, making you the only responsible one in the family Expectations that you be independent and never show weakness Shaming for expressing your sexuality Rejection by parents/caregivers due to your outbursts of emotion; being made to contain your emotions and be incredibly disciplined in order to succeed Traumatic incidents when you looked stupid, unprepared, or incompetent, possibly in school or in front of other children (Location 4367)

As a Knowledgeable Achiever, your life is about being right and being perfect, so you made vows always to be prepared. The fear of being wrong is great. In Rule Keeper defense, you must “know,” or you have no purpose in life. (Location 4373)

For example, as a student, your vows drive you to study harder than anyone else and understand the function and form of everything so you are never seen as unprepared or stupid. You vow that you must have everything completely covered before you can relax and enjoy life. (Location 4375)

Your vows always to be right and perfect protect you, but they can also isolate you from others, making you critical, dismissive, and aloof. You become your own authority, which keeps you separate and gives you a sense of superiority. You avoid any “messy” intimacy in your primary and work relationships in order to keep those relationships functional and solid, but you let out your wilder and steamier side in extramarital affairs or with drinking buddies. (Location 4377)

TYPICAL VOW STATEMENTS FOR THE RULE KEEPER (Location 4383)

Note: .h4

I vow always to be responsible (unlike my alcoholic mother/father who could never properly care for the family). I vow always to be perfect. I vow always to be my own biggest critic. I vow always to keep my feelings separate from my job and goals. I vow always to keep my body fit and disciplined. I vow always to be in control emotionally and do my best to achieve success. I vow never to allow chaos into my daily life. I vow never to relax (until maybe when I’m retired). I vow never to look or act stupid, or to appear a victim. I vow never to take on something that I’m not already good at. (Location 4384)

Extraordinary Power Process: Release Your Vows (Location 4394)

Note: .h4

Vows are buried deep in your psyche, so it can take years to permanently release them. Be prepared to feel some amount of fear, guilt, and shame as you choose not to honor your vows; a vow is an unconscious promise, and you are breaking that promise when you choose something other than your vows. (Location 4412)

Freedom Statements (Location 4417)

Note: .h4

Replace your Vow Statements with Freedom Statements, which are the solutions to your vows. Freedom Statements call forth your core soul qualities and support you to increasingly choose more consciously in every moment. Every time you consciously choose a Freedom Statement over a vow, you get back energy and open yourself to ever-growing life rather than stagnating as a wounded victim. Use Freedom Statements as a bridge out of defense and onto the path of your truth. (Location 4417)

FREEDOM STATEMENTS FOR THE KNOWLEDGEABLE ACHIEVER (Location 4422)

I am open to working toward mastery with enthusiasm and joy. I am open to seeing my feelings and relationships as an integral part of the success I have achieved. I am open to knowing the mystery of unconditional love, feeling the interdependence of all things in the world, not their separateness. I am open to trembling like a child as I feel love again in every cell of my body. I embrace my human imperfections, as well as the imperfections of others. I am open to appreciating the very things I used to criticize in other people. I synthesize information and actions, accepting both the ambiguous and the pragmatic. I see the universal order of all things and how every action and event is in perfect harmony with the world. I am open to deserving love and respect just because I exist, not for anything I have ever done. I no longer assume that I know everything and am humbled in knowing a tiny part of the mystery of life. (Location 4423)

Extraordinary Power Process: Become Free of Your Vows (Location 4435)

Note: .h4

FEEL: Read the list of Freedom Statements above, speaking each one aloud. Let yourself feel their truth as you sit quietly after speaking them. Notice those statements you may want to deny and then repeat them until you no longer have a negative reaction to them. (Location 4437)

CHOOSE: Speak your Freedom Statements out loud as often as possible to bring conscious choice to your vow-driven, knee-jerk defensive reactions. Tell others your Freedom Statements so that they can see your truth and support you in embodying it. Especially as a Knowledgeable Achiever, your willingness to share your heart’s deeper needs, rather than relying on your accomplishments, opens the door to a greater respect. (Location 4440)

REPEAT THE PROCESS of feel, choose, and act often when dealing with your life’s circumstances. (Location 4446)

Your Negative Pleasures (Location 4451)

Note: .h4

Negative pleasures—those habits and behaviors you know you shouldn’t do (or don’t do but know you should!) but justify because they make you feel better about yourself—must be confronted and left behind if you are going to live your authentic purpose. (Location 4453)

In Rule Keeper defense, some of your negative pleasures are preferring to be right rather than happy, finding fault in others, worshipping the rules, and judging others for being too emotional. (Location 4455)

A negative pleasure that is hard for you to admit to is that you would rather be right than happy. It doesn’t matter if the topic of conversation is religion or politics—others must come around to seeing it your way, or you will dismiss them rather than compromise your position. You find satisfaction in the negative pleasures of being in control and looking good, showing extreme discipline in how you treat your body, diet, home, and work environment. This behavior is so second nature that it often escapes your notice, even while leading a double life through the negative pleasure of an extramarital affair. (Location 4456)

In your relationships, you love to give advice to a Poor Me to just “suck it up” and get on with his or her day, or to a Charismatic Leader–Charmer to just calm down and be more rational. You feel negative pleasure in acting like your partner’s critical parent, saying, You do see how you brought this on yourself, don’t you? The Rule Keeper loves to judge anyone who experiences any depth of emotion. (Location 4461)

NEGATIVE PLEASURES OF THE RULE KEEPER (Location 4466)

Being aloof, withholding, and “above it all” Feeling frustrated about others’ incompetence and justified in dismissing them Being ruthlessly self-critical and never perfect enough Knowing better than others about everything Preferring to be right rather than happy in relationships Living in perpetual dissatisfaction with your achievements Asserting that what you do is who you are Being the most responsible one in any situation, preferring to do things yourself because you think you are the only one who can do it right Being the strongest and least emotional one in any volatile situation Being compulsively neat (Location 4467)

Extraordinary Power Process: Diminish Your Negative Pleasures (Location 4477)

Note: .h4

The key to diminishing your negative pleasures is to become conscious of the poor substitutes they are for the real pleasures you could be having in your life. (Location 4478)

FEEL: As you read the list of negative pleasures for the Rule Keeper defense, let yourself feel which ones resonate deeply to evoke a response of Yes, that’s me! Mark those and write them in your journal. (Location 4479)

CHOOSE: Choose one negative pleasure from the list that you identified and are willing to let go of. Sit with all the pain that this behavior has caused you and others to date. Then visualize your life projected out ten years from now. If you don’t change that behavior, what positive pleasure will it cost you? (Location 4481)

Now write about a positive pleasure, one that comes from living in your core, and how experiencing that pleasure might look in your life. For example: I could enjoy my life more, and take more time to celebrate my accomplishments and honor my gifts and family, rather than punish myself for my imperfections. (Location 4490)

ACT: Having chosen a negative pleasure you are ready to let go of, the next time it comes up in your life, ask yourself: What positive pleasure am I missing as I indulge this negative one? How would my Knowledgeable Achiever respond in this situation? Then take action in accordance with your answer. (Location 4493)

REPEAT THIS PROCESS OFTEN. As your negative pleasures become increasingly noticeable, see them as behaviors based on fears that you are now ready to grow out of. Don’t beat yourself up. Go slow, get support, and let each negative pleasure go, one at a time. (Location 4496)

Every negative pleasure you successfully let go of allows you to bring back into your life all of the wasted energy that went into that defense. With that energy, you can make powerful choices to live your life as a creative presence. (Location 4499)

In transitioning to your core soul self, you can call forth your greatest strength of discipline to reverse old patterns. When you use your discipline to notice when you are going into defense, you begin the process of becoming a sage. You realize that your deeper gut feelings, passions, and needs are important guides for being real in your relationships. You throw caution to the wind and no longer postpone your gratification until you’ve had your children, achieved success in your career, bought a second home, put $500,000 in the bank, or reached retirement. You learn to live and enjoy life right now. You are not less responsible—the Knowledgeable Achiever is the most responsible of the profiles—but rather you are more responsible as a human being, not a human doing. (Location 4505)

Step 3: Live Your Life Purpose (Location 4526)

Note: .h3

Your Shadow: Lower- and Higher-Self Traits (Location 4530)

Note: .h4

Your shadow is made up of traits that you have rejected by vowing always or never to be or do something. Those traits can be seen as aspects of you higher self and your lower self. As you identify rejected higher- and lower-self traits, you can begin to accept and integrate them, and so achieve a state of inner balance and wholeness. Fully integrating your shadow allows your defensive mask to dissolve and your true core soul self to emerge. (Location 4530)

The following chart contains a list of the lower- and higher-self traits in matched pairs that you must own and integrate to fully live your life purpose as a Knowledgeable Achiever: (Location 4534)

Extraordinary Power Process: Integrate Your Shadow (Location 4563)

Note: .h4

FEEL: As you read the list of matched-pair lower-/higher-self traits, reach deep into yourself to feel the full range of your raw, lower self at one end and your exalted, higher self at the other. Both are within you to varying degrees. Your raw power and personal needs are found in your lower-self traits, while your conscious use of that power to fulfill those needs is in your higher-self traits. When you can own both in any moment and still choose your higher-self traits, then everything you do will be aligned with your life purpose. (Location 4564)

Put a check mark next to the lower- and higher-self traits you recognize as ones you exhibit. Also notice traits that elicit a powerful negative reaction, and check them, too. These are traits you have rejected in yourself or in others. (In rejecting lower-self traits, you say to yourself, I’d never do that—it’s too negative, mean, or evil; while in rejecting… (Location 4568)

CAUTION: No higher-self trait can exist without the lower-self trait alongside it. To be whole and balanced, you must be conscious of both within you. Selecting only those traits you like will send you back to… (Location 4572)

Using your strongest traits checked, complete these statements for each: A lower-/higher-self trait that I see as strong in me is _______________________________________________________________________. My greatest fear of owning that trait is ________… (Location 4574)

EXAMPLE: A lower-self trait that I see as strong in me is being a perfectionist. My greatest fear of owning that trait is that others will feel judged by… (Location 4577)

CHOOSE: Now work with one set of lower- and higher-self traits that you identified as not being fully owned in their full range. Ask how your life would be different if you owned both higher- and lower-self traits equally, able to… (Location 4583)

Visualize your life up to now and see how damaging it has been to express the lower-self trait unconsciously. Also feel how you have wanted to express the higher-self trait more often but don’t, since the lower-self trait cannot be resolved. Now project this pattern of behavior out into your life one, five, and ten years into… (Location 4585)

What would happen if you were able to embrace both lower- and higher-self traits at all times as part of your life purpose? Notice that, if you did not stand in such judgment and fear of being who you actually are in your life one, five, and ten years into the future, you would instead reveal your true power and purpose. For example: If I accept that I can be punishing to… (Location 4588)

Take actions that align with your new state of inner balance and wholeness. Commit to one action that reflects your new self-acceptance, and then do it. Write in… (Location 4592)

REPEAT THE PROCESS! Once you’ve worked with one pair of higher- and lower-self trait in this way, repeat the process, covering more traits in both lists. Accepting both higher and lower selves as the whole of who… (Location 4594)

Acknowledge your judgmental nature. Your biggest challenge is to recognize that your judgmental nature prevents you from having genuine relationships. Being able to admit that you wrongfully stand in judgment of those you love is the beginning of… (Location 4601)

Accept that you have a tender heart. You must admit that under your well-muscled and fit chest is a heart so afraid of getting hurt that you cut others off before they can get too close. You will walk away from a twenty-year relationship or job and feel nothing. Until you feel your heart connect with love, and respect others, you are on a deserted island all alone. The lesson you must learn is that when you are loved, you become real. You think you are real only when you accomplish… (Location 4604)

Be willing to be the wise sage. By your nature, your life purpose is to teach all the other profiles. You are the wise sage, unbending in your intent, seeing the essence of all life and guiding others to see the same. You must overcome the… (Location 4610)

Let go of what you are certain is the truth. The discovery that nothing you believed was true defeats your striving ego. Education is the hope for the future, and, as the wise teacher, you show us… (Location 4613)

Ask for help to solve your problems. In defense, you get stuck in rigid patterns of right and wrong and having to be perfect. Recognize that your true purpose is to experience the daily mystery of life, to make choices and take actions based on who you are. To be perfectly human is to be flawed, humble, and clueless in so many ways. You become the sage only when you realize that life is unknowable but must be felt through your… (Location 4616)

Develop relationships that have no utilitarian purpose. Build relationships with people because you like them and they awaken a spark in you. If you have a strong Rule Keeper defense, you are probably part of many success- and outcome-driven groups that push you to achieve your goals but don’t help you feel more connected to life. Your likelihood of befriending people in the other profiles is slim, but it’s the Creative Idealists,… (Location 4620)

Speak Your… (Location 4627)

Note: .h4

To remain in your Knowledgeable Achiever core, you must be willing to speak your truth to others, especially to those with whom you are in an intimate relationship. Practice by reading each of the Essential Word Statements on the next page, visualizing that you are speaking directly to someone you love and feeling your words deeply as you read them. Make a commitment to speak these essential words—not the automatic words dictated by your vows and… (Location 4627)

ESSENTIAL WORDS FOR KNOWLEDGEABLE… (Location 4632)

Show me you see a real person in me because sometimes I cannot. Help me out of the prison that I make for myself. I tend to hide my heart, but I love you so much that sometimes it is easier for me to judge you and protect myself. I see your light and how it touches mine, and there is no difference between you and me. When you suffer, I suffer. So if I am standing in judgment, come get me. Touch me. Help me feel again. When I feel our hearts touch, that is when the entire universe opens up for me. I know who I am and who… (Location 4633)

The Law of… (Location 4641)

Note: .h4

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. It follows that you will always attract people and situations that are like you. As your alignment with your life purpose grows, your internal magnet for attracting who and what you want in your life is strengthened. If you are not aligned with your life purpose, no amount of visualizing will help you achieve your desires—in spite of what popular culture tells you about how constant visualizing will bring you what you want. (Location 4642)

Knowledgeable Achievers are by nature life purpose manifesters. You have the strongest and most disciplined energy of all the profiles and so will naturally attract material wealth and resources. The Law of Attraction works well with your unstoppable energy, which makes you a magnet for resources. You create possibility and unify people around a group cause, seeing the big picture and knowing how to efficiently guide others to resources. (Location 4645)

As a Knowledgeable Achiever, you are on the planet to manage resources and people in the most intelligent way. You are a model for how to attract abundance. You empower others and show them how to make money in a sustainable way and, in so doing, give others the ability to choose their own path. (Location 4648)

ACTIVITY: EXPLORE THE GAP. The gap is the space between where you are now and where you know you will be when you fully embody your core soul profile qualities and live your life purpose. Looking in areas of life such as health, relationships, finances, and career or job, inquire about the following: What am I attracting in my life right now from living in my defenses? What do I want to attract in my life from living in my core soul self? (Location 4651)

Extraordinary Power Process: Your Personal Profile Summary Chart (Location 4658)

Note: .h4

Once you have completed your charts for both primary and secondary profiles, use them as a tool to support your life purpose. Follow the Extraordinary Power Process of feel, choose, and act as you refer to each section you’ve filled in on your chart: Feel: Do the inner feeling work—don’t just think. Choose: Make conscious choices—don’t automatically react based on your vows. Act: Align your actions with your profile’s core soul qualities—not with your defenses—to live your truth. (Location 4660)

When you repeat this sequence as often as possible throughout your day, then everything you do reveals the mystery of who you are rather than reinforcing who you think you are—but are not. Feeling, choosing, and acting in accordance with your profile gives you access to your extraordinary power so you can effortlessly manifest your life purpose and live it in every area of your life. (Location 4665)

BIOENERGETIC EXERCISES FOR THE KNOWLEDGEABLE ACHIEVER (Location 4677)

Note: .h4

Movement is often the key to opening up feelings for the other profiles, but for the Knowledgeable Achiever, breathing and opening the heart before moving is more important. The following are some physical exercises that will help you do that. (Location 4678)

EXERCISE #1: DEEP BREATHING. Your rib cage will be tight and rigid as a result of holding in your feelings and protecting your heart. Deep, full chest and belly breathing for thirty to… (Location 4680)

EXERCISE #2: ROLLING AROUND. This exercise is especially good if you find yourself in the rut of always doing things the same way. Lie down on the floor or carpet and freely roll around. Try it for a few minutes with your eyes open; then close your eyes. Notice any parts of your body that don’t press easily into the floor. Finish by lying on your back with your eyes open. Then get up and walk… (Location 4683)

EXERCISE #3: THE FORWARD FLOP. This exercise is a powerful way to learn to surrender to what is coming at you every day. Start by bending your knees and letting your arms reach down to the ground. Relax your neck and face so they just hang in a forward flop. Keep your hands connected to the ground for the entire exercise if you can. Now, let some tension and a slight burning build up in your legs by extending them as far as you feel comfortable. Full extension is not recommended. The heat that is building up in your legs will quickly want to go somewhere. Let it build up for a few seconds and then start pumping your legs up and down slowly, a few inches at a time. Your legs may begin to vibrate, which is good. It will feel like exhaustion at first, but it is actually the release of tension. The objective is to… (Location 4687)

EXERCISE #4: PRESSING THE EARTH. This exercise teaches you to hold your ground when you might normally want to run away. From the Forward Flop, come up very slowly to a standing position, with your legs still pumping slightly, keeping a vibration going. Put your palms facedown and, as you press down into the earth with your legs, push down with your arms, imagining that they, too, touch the ground. Keep your head and neck loose, and feel the vibration moving up through your legs and into your body. Stay in this position for… (Location 4697)

EXERCISE #5: THE ARCH. This exercise teaches you that bending over backward in the service of others is essential for life but does not have to sap your energy. Quite the contrary, service to others is the path to empowerment. From the last exercise, place your hands in the small of your back and bend backward slightly. Keep your head forward and loose and your knees bent. In this position, your vibration can move all the way up through your body. Do not be discouraged if your vibration is minimal at first. We all have body armor that has built up over years, and it may take some time to soften. Once you feel strong in this position and are getting a good full-body vibration, let your arms hang and see if you can get them to vibrate out to your fingertips. Finally, relax your jaw and see if you can vibrate it. If you have back problems, be very careful with how far back you bend and always support your lower back with your hands. Alternate back and forth between the… (Location 4703)

EXERCISE #6: SHAKING TENSION OUT OF YOUR ARMS. This exercise is especially good if you have a tendency to control certain situations or people and have a hard time letting go of that habit. Extend your arms in front of you at shoulder height and let your hands go limp. Shake your hands at arm’s length, as if you are shaking water off them. Shake them as hard as you feel comfortable. Do this for ten to fifteen seconds. Then let your arms drop. Feel how energized they are. Your arms may get so energized that they feel… (Location 4713)

PART IV The Profiles and… (Location 4720)

Note: .h1

CHAPTER 12 Relationship Magnets: Soul Mates, Friends,… (Location 4722)

Note: .h2

Achievement and perfection are ingrained aspects of your defense, and you create your… (Location 4157)

Whatever your profession, you always try to make life fit your profession, limiting the true bounty you could be receiving if… (Location 4159)

In Rule Keeper defense, you easily get stuck in doing the same thing over and over again, believing that there is only… (Location 4162)

You treat people who work under you not as employees only but as partners in your greater purpose, avoiding the bottom-line,… (Location 4166)

HOW YOU HANDLE… (Location 4171)

Knowledgeable Achievers are known as the highest achievers in the world, pooling and managing massive resources and… (Location 4174)

In Rule Keeper defense, you may be a penny pincher and live an austere life with a tight budget and limited way of seeing how… (Location 4177)

PHYSICAL AND ENERGETIC… (Location 4179)